Much to my chagrin, I’m realizing that self-care is practiced moment by moment. Self-care is not a checklist, or a strategy, or a plan to follow. Yes, you can make checklists and come up with strategies and follow the plan, but they will not always work. There will be times when the strategies you’ve so lovingly devised and pointless in the face of today’s very particular set of challenges. And when that happens, it becomes very clear that the answer is not so ‘simple’ as following a prescribed set of behaviours, even if you’re the one who prescribed them.

Instead, it becomes moment by moment. Instead, we take action, pause, integrate, reassess. We ask ourselves “how do I feel” and “how about now?” and “was that helpful?” over and over again. We figure out what we need in each moment, and try our best to give that to ourselves. We don’t think about all the moments to come, just the one we’re in. We take it bird by bird. We lead with our gut.

This ‘strategy’ of checking in constantly works every time. My intuition never leads me astray, even when it’s hard to hear it or when I’m feeling lost and confused about my next moment’s steps. Eventually my gut allows me to pivot and change course if I make the “wrong” decision in any moment. It leads me back to what feels good in this moment, and that one, and the next.

The only problem with this way of practicing self-care is that it requires us to suspend our self-judgment. It requires us to take our thinking minds offline, to shut up our inner critics, and to argue with our own sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘productive’ or ‘lazy’. Or is this just me?

Yesterday I declared it a personal admin day, but I couldn’t focus on anything. I was trying to ‘be productive’, but I was exhausted, and more than that, emotionally depleted. I needed to rest. I didn’t know how to rest. Maybe if I just went grocery shopping…?

Once I got out of my own way and cut out my self-judgemental bullshit about what I really needed, I had a very restful day journalling, reflecting, sitting in the sun, and watching a few too many episodes of Scandal. It wasn’t a ‘productive’ day in the typical sense, but it was the self-care that I needed. And today I woke up earlier, feeling more energetic, and with the bandwidth to handle the day to come. What do you know?

I’m declaring today a personal admin/reset day. This is a concept that I have been hearing about from a few different sources – first from Sarajane Case, who often captures her process on IG stories, and more recently and in more depth from Muchelle B, who has perfected her process.

The idea is that you intentionally take time to reset different areas of your life. Clean things up, tick off tasks, catch up on emails, deal with those papers, plan ahead. Reset. You start with a to-do list, stay focused, and try to get through as many of your items as you possibly can before quitting time.

So I’m going to try it! Normally I’m pretty sporadic with when I do chores and prep, but the idea of powering through a bunch of tasks that I’m not a huge fan of but that I know will make me feel good afterwards feels pretty motivating. I like the idea of getting to the end of the day and having a sparkling house, some food prepped for the next few days, appointments in my calendar and a clear plan for the week ahead.

I think in the future, I’d try to do this on Sundays (not Mondays!), but yesterday was busy with a bridal shower and so not an option. One thing that’s great about Monday though is that everything is open so I can call to make appointments and run any errands I need to!

Wish me luck! Do you ever do personal reset days? What do yours entail?

I’ve been sitting in this chair for ten minutes, trying to think of what to write about. I’m breaking my own output before input rule and have already been on Instagram (on my computer), looked at my tasks of the day, and mindlessly explored the website for the upcoming launch I’m a part of. My excuse is that “I just don’t know what to write about! I’m not inspired!”

Lucky for me though, as soon as I thought those words, I had my own number. I couldn’t hide from the facts anymore. Because the truth is that I, and so many other writers, don’t really believe in inspiration. Or rather, they do, but they don’t believe that being inspired is a prerequisite for doing your work. If inspiration shows up somewhere along the way, great! It is very welcome here. But if not? Your butt is in the seat anyways. Your fingers are typing anyways. You’re practicing anyways.

Because that’s the whole point of a writing practice: I am meant to practice writing. The practice of writing requires that I show up, sit down, and start typing. The practice of writing means battling resistance in all its forms, every single day: whether that be in the form of procrastination, feeling “too busy”, or “not being inspired”. The practice of writing means calling bullshit on our excuses and DOING IT ANYWAYS. That’s how we improve, and probably the only way we improve. Writers write.

So I am calling my own bluff this morning: the truth is that I am inspired. Today, I just so happen to be inspired by my lack of inspiration. Tomorrow, who knows? But I do know I’ll be sitting in the same place, typing out some words, whether or not I feel “inspired”.

Or, to make a longer blog post shorter, this quote has always stuck with me:

“I only write when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes at nine every morning.”

–William Faulkner

See you tomorrow!