Life In Limbo

Talent Is Universal, But Opportunity Is Not

February 4, 2015

This is a repost of an article I wrote for Guinea Pigging Green.

I just finished reading A Path Appears by Sheryl WuDunn and Nicholas Kristof. Their book is a smart, well-researched guide to some of the major problems the world faces in terms of issues like health, education and violence, as well as how we can best help others both with our money and our time. I’m still processing everything I learned from it, but I recommend it highly.

The book is really making me think about how I can help more effectively both financially and in person. It’s also enlightening me about what the problems really are, and the sometimes-surprising best ways to help others. Long story short: it’s rocking my world and I’ve gotten so many new ideas about how to help more going forward.

One quote that stood out to me was: “Talent is universal, but opportunity is not.” Hope is not, either. Safety is not. Justice is not.

It’s really hard to learn about how some of the most preventable or cheaply curable health conditions keep so many children out of school because they can’t afford the treatment. It’s hard to read about fathers drinking away two thirds of their family’s income while their children starve or can’t afford to go to school. It’s hard to learn about all the horrifying trafficking that occurs worldwide and even at home.

But this quote reminds me of the humanity, passion and skills that exist worldwide. People don’t only need our money, they also need hope and jobs and more opportunities to learn and grow and develop to their full potential.

I think sometimes we in developed countries have this misconception that our individual success is a product of our work ethic and talent and drive to succeed. And while that’s partially true, it’s important to recognize just how much of our success in life is a product of where we were lucky enough to be born. We should never assume that people who did not have the same luck are stupider or less talented or less hard-working just because they may seem less “successful” by our standards.

I don’t know yet what the best way to help is and I’m thinking about it a lot. But more and more lately I’ve been feeling a pull to give where and what I can, and this book is making the path towards that goal a bit clearer. It’s actually so inspiring and exciting! As I continue to think about these ideas, I want to keep this quote in the front of my mind: the idea that the most important thing we can do is spread and create opportunities for talented, capable people worldwide to spread their own wings.

You can see a great interview with the authors on MarieTV here. You can get this amazing book here.

Lately | January

February 2, 2015

This is a snapshot of what my life was like in January 2015. You can see all my Lately posts here.

Watching Gilmore Girls Season 3 + 4, and the Oscar-nominated movies one by one.

Reading a lot of great fiction by David Mitchell, Rainbow Rowell and John Green.

Making lists on lists of things to do/buy/edit/create before I leave Korea on April 1st.

Getting used to having perfect vision at night and when I wake up in the morning.

Listening to Invisibilia, Dear Sugar Radio and Death Sex & Money.

Planning a backpacking trip through Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia and India for after I’m finished my contract here!

Booking flights galore to Thailand, to Vietnam, to New Delhi, and finally to home sweet home. I’ve been using Cheapoair mostly.

Creating a lot of great episodes of the podcast to air while I’m away.

Keeping up with my daily goals to meditate, walk 10,000 steps and write in my gratitude journal almost every single day.

Drinking milky earl grey tea in the mornings and red wine at night.

Doing a lot of journalling, processing, and thinking.

Eating homemade vegetable soup, omelets with leeks for breakfast, and peanut tofu sandwiches.

Trying to stay present (always) (and forever).

Grateful for the awesome people I know and love.

Excited (very) for what February has in store.

Wishing you a happy week, not too cold and full of love.

Inspiration | January 30

January 30, 2015

I’m reading A Path Appears this week and it’s blowing my mind. In a nutshell it’s about how we can donate our time and money to good causes most effectively but it explains and describes so much more than that as well. I first heard about the book in this wonderful interview.

I was excited to join the new Passport program through Pencils of Promise. They invited me when it was still under wraps and I found out later that I was member #111 (a very auspicious number, so I thought that was cool, like the dork I am). It’s basically an automatic recurring donation program, plus a few perks. Learn more and become a member here! They also have donation matching set up for your first month for the first 1000 members.

I used CheapoAir to book my flights to New Delhi and then later Toronto and got an absurd deal. I’ll write more about the “return” tickets on this site soon but until then, check it out!

I have been loving the new NPR podcast Invisibilia after hearing previews of it on This American Life and Radiolab. Really good stuff.

In other podcast news, I thought that this episode of the Lively Show about small business fears and struggles was so relatable and down-to-earth and refreshing.

I thought this video of Korean girls trying American snacks for the first time was hilarious. It was cool to see exactly what they were saying and really get a sense of their personalities – that’s sometimes lost when people speak their second language.

***

The last weekend of January and the first one of February (technically): time. is. flying. I booked my flight home this week (I’ll be back late July!) so everything is starting to move much more quickly. I’m excited about all my upcoming plans but trying, of course, to stay present and enjoy my last two months in Korea. This weekend I’m planning to go shopping in one of my favourite areas and then get a lot of work done. I won’t have a computer on me while travelling so I have to try and get ahead. Enjoy your weekend!

Ps. The photo is a little throwback to my lovely summer days in Kyoto.

On Staying Present

January 28, 2015

Living abroad for a year is an interesting lesson in presence. It asks you: can you be fully here now, without worrying about the future or wishing for something else? I don’t think that question is unique to living abroad – in fact I think it’s always being asked of all of us in one way or another – but you can hear it so much more loudly when you only have one year of living somewhere.

For me at least, it’s often a struggle. Let me be clear: I love my life here in Korea and am so grateful for the opportunities it’s given me. Yet at the same time, with two months to go, I feel like I’m ready for the next stage in my adventure. Striking that balance of appreciation and presence vs. planning and looking forward is hard. Staying present, both in everyday moments and in this broader chapter of my life, is hard.

One of my favorite quotes is from Meryl Streep: “I want to feel my life while I’m in it”. And I do think that the magic happens in the moment, not after it’s passed. I think happiness happens now, not after some distant milestone in the future. And on a deeper level, I recognize that we only really have this moment, right now – though this idea is much easier to grasp conceptually than it is to apply it in the real world.

Still, I don’t want to sleepwalk through my life and I don’t want to be on autopilot. I want to be fully conscious, even if that means experiencing the hard things and the boring things and the tedious things. Because as Brené Brown says: “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”

And I think that being caught up and just going through the motions every day is a form of numbing those negative emotions of boredom and anxiety. It’s so, so easy to go through a day without having a special, positive experience to light it up. And of course, it can be incredibly hard to choose to look for those moments or be open to them. When I’m late, when I’m tired, when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, or when the children are screaming and running around the classroom, it’s easy to shut down and tune out and think only about me me me.

In fact, staying present and choosing is probably the hardest thing I’ll ever try to do. There’s a speech by David Foster Wallace that I come back to again and again in my life that talks all about this, and it’s definitely worth a listen.

Some days I succeed at noticing other people and seeing lovely moments and finding the humour and actively appreciating. Other days go by in a haze of headphones and distraction and little-to-no eye contact. Some days I remember to make an effort and other days I am so caught up in my head that I totally forget to even try. Most days are a combination of both. It’s helpful to remind myself that I am always trying my best, whatever my best is on that given day. I think that working on staying present is a daily lifelong challenge, or as Laura says, “a mountain with no top”.

This week on the podcast, we’re talking all about presence: practices that help us stay in the moment, quotes that offer us perspective, why presence matters so much, how it can improve our relationships, and how it can make us happier. You can find the episode and the show notes here or subscribe on iTunes here.