Observations

Popping in today a bit later than usual because I slept in. On a Wednesday! What a revelation. I’m battling an annoying head cold so it felt necessary to turn off all my alarms and let my body rest. It also happens to be a gloomy, rainy day here in Toronto and my appointments were canceled, so it’s a wonderful day to rest, recuperate, and give my body the chance to heal. After I type this, I plan to take myself back to bed with a book and rule my tiny queendom from underneath the covers.

Catching this cold was a bit of a wake-up call for me. My immune system is usually pretty strong, but after that awful stomach bug/food poisoning incident from a couple weeks ago, it feels much weaker. I caught this cold so easily! It’s an important reminder to take better care of myself and let my immune system build back up.

It’s also a lovely chance to check in and figure out how I can care for myself most effectively. When I’m sick, or tired, or otherwise stressed, what feels healing? What’s the medicine I most need?

Note to self – here are a few of the things that have been feeling like medicine to me:

• Actual medicine. Don’t suffer needlessly! Go to the pharmacy, get yourself some cold & sinus meds, and watch your symptoms melt away
• Group texts with your friends where you get to see their progress and cheer them on
• Your coven of friends. It’s magic to see the shifts that can happen in a space of unconditional love & positive regard
• Sleeping in, taking naps, going to bed early. Nothing works better!
• Reading excellent books and taking notes when necessary
• Taking a break from Instagram
• Mom’s magic potion for when you’re sick
• Keeping your phone on airplane mode longer than usual
• Wearing slippers
• Taking a long hot shower or bath
• Going back to bed and watching Once Upon a Time

And with that, I bid you adieu! Hope you have a beautiful day. xo.

I haven’t done my daily writing practice over the past few days while I’ve been home for Thanksgiving. I also didn’t do it last weekend, when I was away in Hamilton. Actually, I didn’t do any of my other morning routines on any of those days (meditation and writing my daily log), which tends to be the case when I’m away from home.

I could get really finicky with myself here, and try to find a workaround. I could try to come up with a bookmark habit for the times when I can’t do the full habit because I’m out of my daily routine. I could develop a whole elaborate system for making sure I’m never without my computer so that I’ll always be able to write a blog post, no matter what. But I’m not sure that’s the best strategy for me.

One of the reasons I like my daily habit tracking app is that it shows the percentage of time you complete a task, gives you a soft, colourful bubble to represent your progress, and shows you a quick glance of the last five days of the habit. It allows you to be okay with progress, not perfection. Your bubble is still growing! If you miss a day, it doesn’t have a tremendous impact.

I tend to be a person who wants that perfect streak. I’m motivated by not breaking the chain and watching the ‘points’ stack up. In general, this is a good thing! But I also have to be careful to not let myself go overboard with the perfectionistic tendencies.

The truth is, sometimes it just doesn’t feel right to do a whole elaborate morning routine when I’m on vacation. The whole point of traveling is to get out of my everyday routines. So while I’ll never stop making my bed no matter where I am, I want to be okay with loosening up on other routines that may not make as much sense when I’m not at home.

I’m “closing this loophole” by giving myself full permission to take a break from my routines when I’m “out of office” and away from home. If I miss them or want to feel more grounded, they’re always there for me to fall back on. But in the meantime, I’m off the hook, free to do what feels good in the moment without guilt. I can always get back on the horse when I get home.

There’s something quite beautiful that happens when you commit to a daily, or weekly, or otherwise very consistent creative practice: you get less and less precious about the work.

Think about it: if you only create one blog post (or painting or video) per month, then there’s more pressure. You have a whole month to worry about it, fuss over the end result, try to make it as perfect as it can be. No wonder we get hung up on tiny details! No wonder we procrastinate! No wonder we make excuses so that we don’t need to ship our work. No wonder, because that kind of pressure is debilitating.

But if you’re making a new piece of anything every single day, you do not have the time or energy to wring your hands and get all existential up in here. As Caroline Kelso shared on this episode of the Wandering Aimfully show, shipping work daily forces you to move on. Even if you hate the work you just put out there, you have to do it all over again tomorrow.

The best part is that, as in most things, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Once you have a collection of work to show for your labours, one small piece of that collection is no longer as important. This one can suck. That one can suck. Who cares? You’re making a body of work, not a pinky fingernail of work. It all combines to create something bigger than itself, bigger than you even imagined or intended.

Also, let’s not overlook the fact that we learn something valuable from every single thing we create, no matter how much it sucks. We gain insight from that experience and get to make the next thing just a little bit better. Even if this one sucks, we can still get something good out of it.

I know it’s scary to put things out into the world to (ostensibly) be judged, but I promise it gets easier. Plus, 99% of the time, nobody will comment on it anyways! The other 1% is usually positive.

So here’s your permission slip: just start showing up. The first one can suck. So can the second. So can they all. But you’ll never get better at what you don’t practice. Go! Do! Create! And then once you start, keep going.

You can hear way more of my thoughts on this topic in my podcast episode, Add It Up.

Over the weekend, my friends and I went on a retreat of our own design. We call it “NurtureNurture”, and we try to hold it at least twice a year. One by one, we take turns bringing four different areas of our lives to the group. These are usually areas that feel sticky, or hard, or haven’t gotten a lot of attention for a while. We have a conversation about it, come up with amazing solutions, and always leave feeling energized about improving our lives. It’s the best.

At this past retreat, one of my areas was “elevating the everyday”. I had come to feel like most of my routines and habits were becoming stale, without new energy for a while. I wanted to find more joy and beauty in my daily life, more freshness. For most of the conversation we thought that meant things: a new robe, or some beautiful mugs. But by the end of my time in the hot seat, a new idea had emerged: the idea of me getting a dog.

I’ve always loved dogs and our family has had them for most of my life. They bring me a crazy amount of joy and delight. But the idea of getting one for myself, especially as a single woman living alone in an apartment in Toronto, never felt accessible to me. Not to mention that my parents were always adamant that I shouldn’t get one! They felt I shouldn’t tie myself down, especially after I’d spent a few years living abroad and traveling.

But once the idea was planted, it was hard to shake. Over the past few days I’ve been daydreaming about what it would be like to have a dog around, picturing the changes to my daily routine, wondering whether it could really be possible. It hasn’t really felt real yet, so I’m working on taking steps to make it real. 

I started a Pinterest board, to save information and inspiration about becoming a dog parent. I created a “project” in my Asana devoted to my future dog, including every task I could think of from researching the best flea & tick medication to buying dog toys and reading books on puppy training. And most importantly, I’ve started to tell my friends (and soon family!) that I’m considering this big life decision. 

If it doesn’t feel real, make it real. As with anything, you can only start with the first right step, and then take the next one after that, and after that. It’s a slow process, but it’s also magical. You’re literally going from idea to reality, in a way that takes both time and effort. But I can think of no better way to spend my life…except maybe with a dog by my side. xo.