Observations

Lately I’ve been noticing how much I’m affected by what I listen to, what I see, or the conversations I’m having. It’s like that old saying, “you are what you eat,” or maybe the newer one, “you are the are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The information and habits I’m surrounded with make a huge impact on how I spend my time or what I’m interested in. 

In some ways, this tendency is hilariously embarrassing. I’ll watch a week of interior design videos and suddenly be rearranging and tweaking my house. I’ll watch some personal finance videos and suddenly be looking for ways to be more frugal. I’ll hear my friend talking about their points rewards card and suddenly be researching what credit card I should sign up for, for hours.

But it’s also pretty freeing! Knowing this about myself means that I can make smarter decisions about what kinds of content I consume. I can surround myself with photos and videos and people who reflect my own personal values. I can unfollow people who are negative, or upsetting, or just have different goals from me. I can notice how I feel after watching something: do I feel uplifted and inspired, or do I feel deflated and depressed? I can remember that I have so much power over what I let in to my brain.

Sarah Von Bargen talked about this when I interviewed her on my podcast. Five minutes into reading a “fancy lady magazine”, she felt terrible about herself, and stopped reading. She realized that those magazines are designed to make you feel terrible, so that you buy things that will fix the problem. You can read them, or you can just walk away. Why eat the thing you’re allergic to?

For me, this realization is a healthy tool. I can choose my goals first, and then surround myself with information and ideas that will naturally motivate me to achieve them. Easy as pie!

PS. I wrote about this from a slightly different angle right here!

Yesterday I had a small win: I started saving $10 on my monthly phone bill. That may not seem like a lot, but it’ll add up to $120 this year that I could put towards something way more fun, like a trip somewhere warm this winter or a new fall jacket.

The real kicker is that I’ll actually get *more* for my money on this new plan. Instead of 2GB of data (which I occasionally go over), I’ll get 4GB. Instead of unlimited minutes, I’ll get 500, plus free evenings and weekends, which is great because I rarely go over about 400 minutes, on average. And the rest of my plan is identical, except $10 cheaper.

How did I accomplish this wizardry? I just went on to my cell phone portal (I use Koodo – yes, it’s an affiliate link) and poked around, looking at their plans and comparing them to what I had. When I’d done this before, looking for a new phone in the process, I’d found all the plans completely exorbitant. But this time I explored as if I would keep the phone I had, since it still works perfectly, after all. And voila! Cheaper plans with more features.

I’m taking a couple lessons with me from this:

1. Just check. Log in, take a look, give them a call, ask if they can do better. I’m inspired to do this with other monthly bills I have, to see if I can get a slightly better deal.
2. It pays to keep things as long as you can. Take care of your stuff! I’ve paid off my phone completely so I don’t have a monthly financing charge, and because of that now my plan is as low as I’ve ever paid as an adult. Win-win.

I love saving money. Wishing you lots of little wins this week!

This past week, I didn’t even practice bookmark habits to hold my place and keep up my momentum. Instead, I let everything go to the point that, a week later, it feels like I’m starting all over again. They’re all the same habits as before, but they feel harder now, like I don’t have the wind at my back anymore.

I’m reminded of Newton’s first law of motion, the law of inertia: An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion. This is true for literal objects, but it also feels true for habits and lifestyle changes and projects. It’s easier to stay in motion, even if your pace is very, very slow, than it is to start from stillness.

Starting over, or for the first time, is so much harder than continuing something, because you have to fight off twice as much resistance in order to start. Not only are you dealing with your typical resistance of “this isn’t good enough” or “don’t I have laundry to do instead?!”, but you also have to contend with more insidious kinds of resistance like, “why am I even doing this anyways?” and “what’s the point?!” and “what difference does this make?”

At least when you’re keeping that object (or project or habit) in motion, your past experiences help to bolster you against your resistance and doubt. You have momentum, and you know how good it feels to keep up with whatever you’re working on. The motivation kicks in to “not break the chain” and stay consistent.

So this week I’m reminding myself that my only job is to put that object back into motion again. Start the process, build the momentum, create the chain. Just show up, despite your resistance, and soon you’ll be back where you were.

Last week there were no blog posts and there were no explanations. I hadn’t planned to take a break, but life has a way of getting in the way of your best-laid plans and forcing your hand. Things were really stressful and weird, so I took a week off from (most of) my good habits. I didn’t write, I didn’t eat a lot of green things, I didn’t spend time in nature. When I got home on Saturday afternoon, I felt like a wilted plant that desperately needed light and air and water, but I didn’t have the energy to give myself those things yet. I didn’t have the willpower or motivation to start back with my healthy self-care right away.

Instead, I puttered. I put things away and tidied up and had lots of wine and watched TV and fell down a rabbit hole of YouTube home decor videos. I made nachos, for heaven’s sake! (They were great.) I got some very-needed alone time to reset myself, and then spent all of yesterday continuing that trend.

But today, I’m easing my way back. I’m reminding myself: YOU CAN START AGAIN. I’m reminding myself: it’s okay if it’s slowwwwww. I’m reminding myself: you are okay, and it’s okay if you aren’t perfect.

So I made myself a smoothie. I looked at my bank accounts and paid some bills. I stayed inside this morning, even though it’s a beautiful day. I looked at my Asana task board with one eye shut and got a sense of everything I need to catch up on. This afternoon, I am going to do my monthly reflect and goal set and maybe meditate for the first time in a week (!) and go to the park to be alone in the sunshine. I am going to get back to checking off my daily habits in whatever way feels good and approachable and fun.

Tomorrow is another day, and after that, another one. Every day is a new opportunity to learn how to take care of myself, to listen to myself, to stand up for myself, to love myself. There are as many ways to do so as there are stars in the sky.