Life – Page 16 – Life In Limbo

BBQ Tofu Tacos

May 20, 2013

It’s pretty difficult to write about (and look at photos of) these tacos, because it’s taking all I have not to race to the kitchen and make them right this minute (I have all the ingredients and everythang – I’ll be making them later.) They have become one of my staple meals because they’re so impossibly easy to make and taste so amazing at the end. This is the combo I like best: a little garlic aioli, fresh homemade guacamole, and panfried BBQ tofu. But you could put in whatever you want! Examples: sauteed onions and peppers, a lime cabbage slaw, grated cheese, salsa, refried beans.

I used to make a lot of shrimp tacos, but was looking for a way to make them vegetarian. It took me a while to get the texture/flavour of the tofu palatable, but I’ve finally perfected my panfrying method to give them a nice chewy bite. Exciting developments.

For the tofu: use extra-firm tofu. Press the tofu by wrapping in a paper towel and sandwiching between two plates (preferably with weights [ie. cans of something] on top) for 5 minutes to an hour. This helps a little, but I can often get away with just squeezing the tofu out into paper towel with my hands. Slice into 1/4 inch pieces. Heat vegetable oil in a frying pan, add the tofu, cook until golden brown and firm. Flip each piece over and repeat. Once both sides are cooked to your liking, remove from heat and coat with your favourite barbecue sauce!

For the guacamole: scoop the contents of one avocado into a bowl. Chop and add garlic and onion to taste (I use about 1 clove, and only a small amount of onion). Add chopped tomatoes if you like ’em! Definitely add chopped cilantro and a little lime juice. Season with salt. Eat some with tortilla chips if you’re super hungry and can’t wait til the main event.

For the aioli: add 1/2 a chopped clove of garlic to a few tablespoons of mayonnaise. Add a few drops of lemon juice and season with salt to taste.

And then, assemble! I like to heat my tortillas in a dry frying pan for about a minute per side so that they become pliable. Top with freshly chopped cilantro and a squeeze of lime. Delish!

It really doesn’t get any simpler. Or yummier, in my opinion. And since lately I’ve had a ton on my mind (from exams to convocation to moving to a great European adventure), simple, yummy meals are a huge blessing.

Can I get an om nom? Hope the sun is shining where you are!

Done My Degree!

April 29, 2013

“You’re going to be all right. And you’re going to be all right not because you majored in English or didn’t and not because you plan to apply to law school or don’t, but because all right is almost always where we eventually land, even if we mess up entirely along the way..

Just close your eyes and remember everything you already know. Let whatever mysterious starlight that guided you this far, guide you onward into whatever crazy beauty awaits. Trust that all you learned during your college years was worth learning, no matter what answer you have or do not have about what use it is..

You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts. You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth..

I hope you will be surprised and knowing at once. I hope you’ll always have love. I hope you’ll have days of ease and a good sense of humor. I hope when people ask what you’re going to do with your English and/or creative writing degree you’ll say: “Continue my bookish examination of the contradictions and complexities of human motivation and desire”; or maybe just: “Carry it with me, as I do everything that matters.” And then smile very serenely until they say ‘”oh”.”

You can read the full article by the oh-so-amazing Cheryl Strayed here. You should also get her book and read it cover-to-cover and cherish it.

This afternoon, I wrote the last exam of my undergraduate degree. That’s it! I’m done! It’s hard to believe that I don’t have another paper to write or studying to do, I’m free from school. And not just for the summer, forever (maybe).

I’m feeling very emotional (normal, for me). The last four years have been educational and inspiring and hard and fun and full of pain and full of love. I have a feeling that that’s what the next four years will be like, and the four after that (and so on and so on), but I also think these four were some of the most important I’ll have. They don’t call them formative years for nothing, right? I got to know some absolutely amazing people and I got to know myself. I will be eternally grateful for the support of my family (I love you all to infinity and beyond) for listening to me rant and looking over my papers and sending me silly SnapChats (a fairly recent phenomenon, admittedly) and writing me emails that made me feel closer to home. I will be eternally grateful for the support of my friends for all the laughs and jokes and willingness to listen to me complain and pep talk me back up, launch into impromptu dance parties and just sit in silence with me while we suffer through some studying (because we know having someone there makes it all better).

Two years ago, I wouldn’t have resonated so strongly with the quote above. But I think the fact that I do now shows how much I’ve grown and how much perspective I’ve been lucky enough to be exposed to. I know I’m going to be okay, eventually. I’m not as scared of the world as I was a year ago, or even a month ago. I’m ready for the next chapter, and all the struggle and happiness it holds for me. I’ll always have the wonderful people around me, and I’ll always have good books, and I’ll always have the ability to see the bright side and find small joys. Happiness is choice! Happiness is a form of bravery!

It’s been grand, undergraduate degree. Thanks for the memories! xoxo.

Real Talk

April 24, 2013

Let me be honest with you for a few minutes.

Because here’s what I’m worried about. I’m worried (like lots of other bloggers) that my internet life is not realistic. I try my best to be down-to-earth and talk about my feelings, but I also usually only share the happy shiny moments of my life here on the blog. And to be sure, my life is full of lovely happy shiny moments, and that’s what I like to focus on. But I never want you to get the wrong impression about my life. (Sidebar: this is both the post I need to write and the post I need to read right now)

I’m not always as positive as I come across on this blog. Case in point: I cry a lot. I sometimes get so frustrated I can’t sleep properly. I get my heart broken. I get cranky and whiny and I sometimes call my mom just to vent at her like a small child. I’m not always graceful, I don’t always take things in stride, I don’t always see the bright side, I complain.

Any photos you like on this blog? I probably don’t like them. There are very few photos I’ve ever taken that I’m completely happy with. I get insecure about my blog often. There are so many drop-dead gorgeous websites out there with the most amazing photography that makes me practically keel over because it’s so beautiful. I worry I write about myself and my own feelings far too much, and that my blog should offer people more concrete information like recipes and book reviews and DIY tutorials instead of just my stream-of-consciousness thoughts.

I’m always feeling like there is more I should do. Better books I should be reading. Cooler TV shows I should be watching. New slang that I should be aware of (I’ve been looking up words on Urban Dictionary a lot lately). More concrete plans for the future I should be making.

I’m not saying any of this because I want you to reassure me or compliment me. Really, I’m not. I’m saying it to prove I’m human. To prove that I hurt and envy and worry and doubt myself just like anybody else. BUT! Us humans, we’re resilient. We can carry both positivity and negativity on our shoulders and come out smiling. I can both love my blog and wish it was better. I can be both jealous of other blogs and inspired by them. I can be disappointed in my photography but still acknowledge how far I’ve come. I can be completely overwhelmed but put my head down and make it through. I can feel the pressure to read an intelligent, important novel, and then turn around and read a book that makes me feel comfortable and happy. It’s a balancing act.

A funny line has come into my head a couple times in the past couple (stressful) weeks: activate coping strategies! For me, that means feeding my needs (food, sleep, exercise, a mental break), writing things out, calling a loved one, taking deep breaths. But just the knowledge that I can be both completely exhausted/frustrated/worried and still care for myself and breathe through it is so comforting. It’s totally a reflection of the aforementioned balancing act: I can still get totally overwhelmed but also realize how much I’ve learned about myself and how to self-soothe.

I’m less than a week away from being done my undergraduate degree. Safe to say, emotions of all kinds (and re: lots of different things) are running high. So, as always, I’m super grateful for this little corner of the internet to help me sift through my thoughts and worries. Much love.

Everyday Beauty

April 12, 2013

I decided that trying to keep track of which weeks my photos were from was a kind of cruel and unusual punishment to myself, so I stopped. I am already much happier. Henceforth I’m just gonna call it “everyday beauty” and be done with it. Huzzah!

Here are some photos from my life lately. I had a birthday, I recorded some podcasts, I’ve written thousands of academic words (my word..), I’ve read thousands of academic words (and a few non-academic ones, I’m currently almost finished this book!). My stress level has fluctuated, but remains on the relatively high side. The good news is that by this time next week, I will have finished my hell week and will only have two well-spaced-out, not-as-challenging finals to write. That’s the good news. The bad news is that I have a hell week ahead of me. Blurgh!

It snowed last night, but I’m in denial and besides, I’m not leaving my house today anyways because it’s exam season. Ha! Take that, snow. (In actuality though, my soul is crushed by the sight of snow and grey, grey skies…). Just gotta keep my head down, keep calm and carry on, celebrate the little things, be proud of tiny accomplishments, cross things off my to-do list like a crazy person, and never forget that I have only 18 days left in my undergraduate degree and I shouldn’t wish it away.

Okie doke, back to the schoolwork grind. xo.