Life – Page 14 – Life In Limbo

Why I Yoga

February 8, 2014

That’s the first ever Instagram yoga picture I ever took! Unfortunately/fortunately, it wasn’t the last. I’ve been posting ever since, usually every day. You can see all my yoga pictures, if you’re so inclined, here.

You might be wondering, why? Why do I practice yoga, and why on earth do I post photos of me doing so? Excellent questions.

I practice yoga because it makes me feel strong. It makes me feel relaxed and centered, it makes me feel focused, it makes me feel excited and positively giddy at times. There is something absolutely incredible about discovering that you can do something you never thought would be possible. It’s amazing to see small improvements in your body every day. It’s fascinating to watch yourself get stronger or more flexible, even though you never thought you would.

I also practice yoga because in many ways, it’s practice for life. I know I haven’t even scratched the surface when it comes to the spiritual side of yoga, but I’m getting slightly deeper every time I come to my mat. When I go to classes, I get lots of perspective. I get to see people of all levels and I get to remind myself (over and over, forever, to infinity and beyond) to keep my eyes on my own mat and my awareness in my own body. I am pushed and challenged and I get angry or I get bored, and I try very hard (and never, ever succeed) to keep my focus on my breath throughout the entire class.

The teachers always tell us not to resist the poses, even though they can be so uncomfortable and frustrating. They tell us that we don’t need to react to our internal complaints or angst. They tell us to just be, without resisting, without reacting. This is, truly, the ultimate challenge, in that hot sweaty room and in real life.

I’ve been “doing yoga” for a while – on and off for maybe 5 years. I went to a few classes in high school, and took classes all throughout university. But I only really started to practice in earnest, almost every day, a few months ago, ever since I got back from Europe this past fall. The last few months were hard for me in many ways: I felt lost and sad and confused more often than I expected I would. I would go to hot yoga and put my body through the motions that I could barely do until I was totally spent and too tired to think. I cried in class almost every time, and if you had asked me I wouldn’t have been able to explain why. But it was always, always worth it for that feeling of pure clarity and lightness when I stepped back out into the fresh air at dusk.

So, in a sentence, I practice yoga because it makes me want to work towards being better, physically & spiritually, on the mat and in my life.

And that’s a lot of why I post the photos on Instagram. Sharing my progress in yoga is like the way I share what I’m reading or what lessons I’ve learned in my life like I do on this blog. The only difference (and the part that can feel uncomfortable) is that I’m posting photos of myself. But in taking those photos I push myself to try new things, explore my limits, bring awareness to my form and alignment, and bring some much-needed fun and joy and levity into my practice. :)

As a member of a generation that uses social media to nominate each other for stupid drinking competitions or to boast about how much money we’ve spent, I wish there was more positive, healthy inspiration online. Pictures of yoga, or delicious meals or friends and family or beautiful landscapes – that’s what I want more of in my feed. And I want to be an active participant in creating that kind of content.

I think yoga practice can be seen as so intimidating for people who haven’t tried it yet. The poses look so complicated and there’s this idea that if you practice yoga, you have to live the whole “yogic” lifestyle, whatever that means. Definitely not the case. Yogis come in all shapes and all sizes and from all backgrounds and personalities. It’s just stretching and body weight exercises! Nothing to be scared of.

Who knows, maybe I won’t practice yoga forever. Maybe I’ll get bored when I find another form of exercise that challenges me and makes me feel strong and light. But for now, I’m enjoying my practice. I’m learning new things every day. I have wobbly days (in yoga and in life) and I have strong days. I’ve found some advanced poses but I have an infinite number of advanced poses and transitions to conquer. For now, I yoga. Do you yoga?

Namaste – I bow to (the greatness in) you.

Feelings & Goals for 2014

January 3, 2014

This year, I read The Desire Map for the first time, and I absolutely loved it. The whole idea is that whenever you set a goal, you’re really chasing the feeling that you think you’ll have once you achieve that goal. So the book argues that we should all start our goal-setting process by thinking about how we want to feel, first and foremost, and then create goals based on those feelings. Her book is great for delving into the details and walking you through the best ways to hone in on your desired feelings and avoid choosing generic feelings or goals that are prescribed by society. I would definitely recommend checking it out. I talk a lot about The Desire Map and my other favourite ways to set goals in this week’s episode of the podcast, which you can find here.

Once you’ve gotten clear on how you want to feel, you’re in a much better position to set goals that are aligned with what you really truly want. I narrowed it down to five core desired feelings (after several drafts!) which have lots of different meanings for me, some of which are listed below.

The Feelings

abundance: my word for the year! read what it means to me here.

connection: meaningful conversations, reaching out to loved ones, tuned in to my body and my brain, looking at my life in a holistic way (all parts as being connected and balanced), experiencing synchronicity in my everyday life, being alert, attentive and a good listener

lightness: a sense of ease in my life, gracefulness, confidence, not eating too much, flexibility, calmness, bliss, a light tone to relationships (no drama, no way!), clean, efficient, enough/plenty, a sense of flow in my activities

expansion: growing, learning from my experiences and other people, trying new things, being a bigger person, open-mindedness, openness to new people and things, a sense of opportunity and possibility, hope, constantly improving, constantly creating

joyful: spontaneity, delight, wonder, a sense of awe, celebrations in my everyday life, appreciating the small things, appreciating everyday beauty, enthusiasm, surprises, a sense of occasion

The Goals

Read big: not only do I want to read 75 books again this year, I want to read more bravely. That means not shying away from long, hefty, heavy books that both intrigue and intimidate me.
Edit my possessions: I like the idea of owning less, but I’m such a homebody that I seem to draw extra junk to me like a magnet. In the spirit of feeling lightness, I want to throw away anything that isn’t useful or beautiful or make me feel good.
More travel! Especially travel with friends or to see friends that live far away.
Continue to increase my strength and flexibility (open my hips enough for full lotus and get the upper body and core strength for handstand and arm balances)
Move back into my own place in a vibrant city.

My goals for 2014 aren’t as specific as they’ve been in the past, but I’m okay with it. The year ahead is a great big question mark in a lot of ways, but I’m trying to think of it as a fresh page to write on instead of a big abyss to fall into (only half kidding). I’m happy to have my desired feelings to guide me, no matter what I choose to do in 2014.

30 Days To Vegan

December 1, 2013

This past Tuesday, I started a 30 day vegan challenge. For the next 30 days, I won’t be eating any meat, dairy or eggs. Yes, I’m aware that Christmas falls within the next 30 days, which I hadn’t really realized when I first decided to embark on this challenge, but it doesn’t matter. As my mom pointed out, if I can make it through Christmas eating vegan, I can make it through anything.

I’ve been a vegetarian for almost four full years now, though during that time I ate fish or seafood on occasion. I’ve always been of the belief that doing something imperfectly is better than doing nothing perfectly, so though sometimes I didn’t totally fit the strict vegetarian label, I still considered myself a vegetarian.

The Why

I initially stopped eating meat after reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan. The ethical and health implications of factory farming truly disturbed me, and I no longer felt comfortable with my eating choices, so I stopped cold turkey (ha!). Even with my convictions, for the better part of a year I still made a couple of exceptions – once for McNuggets (ugh, I know right?), another time for my mom’s homemade barbeque ribs.

I share this to illustrate that sometimes despite my beliefs, I have a hard time accepting change in my life, as I think we all do sometimes. For the last four years, I’ve known that I don’t believe in eating seafood (mainly because of bycatch effects and the toxicity of farmed fish), and yet I still occasionally did, when I willfully ignored the things I already knew.

And for four years, I’ve known there are major problems with eating dairy (for example, the hormones in dairy products, the potential link between meat and dairy proteins and serious disease such as heart disease and cancer, the treatment of dairy cows and chickens) and that eating less dairy is probably healthier for humans. And yet for four years, I willfully ignored the things I already knew, mostly because I didn’t want to seem radical or militant or like a hippie or just plain extreme, which is the way our society tends to see vegans.

But I know the things I know, and it doesn’t sit right with me to ignore those things anymore. I want to strive to live in a way that fits with my values and beliefs, so I want to strive to eat healthier for me and for the planet. And in my opinion, the best way for me to do that is to eat a vegan diet of mainly whole foods. I should note that I certainly don’t judge anyone for their personal choices.

The What

I decided to start with a 30 day challenge because the idea of going without eggs for the rest of my life is too terrifying to contemplate (say what you will, but it is what it is!). I’m going to start with 30 days to prove to myself that I’m capable of eating this way, but I’m aiming to keep it up once the 30 days are up. The hashtag I’m using to share my meals and track my progress is #30DaysToVegan, which to me implies progress towards a goal, not a set number of days.

So far it’s been fun and remarkably easy to eat vegan. I’ve been collecting lots of inspiration for vegan recipes on Pinterest, and I’ve been happy to see that it’s easy to slightly modify some of my favourite meals to avoid dairy (and keep all the taste). My family have been really supportive: for example, my mom has made me a meal or two already, and my dad uncomplainingly ate the nutritious but slightly bland curry I made him for dinner. They might not totally understand, but they accept me and my choices, which is a wonderful feeling. That’s the most important thing to me.

The How

I’ll be posting weekly progress updates over on Guinea Pigging Green, and I’ve been trying to post at least one photo of my (vegan!) food on our Instagram, @GreenGuineaPigs, every day. You’re more than welcome to follow along or even join in!

xo,

Steph

Plum Cake

October 18, 2013

We interrupt this travel journal for a brief update.

I’m home! I’m back. I’ve been busying myself making podcasts, making myself healthier, making lists, making plum cake. I’m trying to be productive. I’m trying to make plans. I’m trying to get a job. I’m trying to breathe when I feel like I’m under an immense amount of pressure to “be successful” and decide “what to do with my life”. I’m missing my friends like crazy (we scattered across this fine country and beyond after graduation) and I’m trying to keep in touch with them.

I’m appreciating the beautiful fall weather. I’m loving all the delicious smells that come out of my family kitchen. I am grateful I don’t have to pack up my things every few days or have cold showers or share a room with seven other people. I am enjoying getting back into a bit of a rhythm in my days. I’m working on keeping my thoughts balanced and positive. I’m loving being around people who love me unconditionally, I’m happy to be having meaningful conversations. I’m happy.

I made this cake because my mom bought a bunch of beautiful plums at the farmer’s market and they weren’t getting eaten. The same day she bought them, Deb from Smitten Kitchen posted a recipe for a Purple Plum Torte. Synchronicity! I’m aiming for more of that in my life.

The recipe couldn’t be simpler, or more satisfying. I followed her instructions exactly and it came out absolutely perfectly. She recommends not trying it until the second day, because apparently that way the flavours have a chance to mingle. I didn’t try it the first day, so I can’t really confirm. But the second day? Wow. It’s delicious. It’s such a simple recipe but couldn’t be tastier. There’s lots of yummy caramelized bits, the cake is moist, and the plums have so much flavour. Plus, it’s gorgeous, isn’t it? It’s so beautifully rustic.

I love almost every recipe Deb posts (um, this margherita pizza??), and would love to get my paws on a copy of her beautiful cookbook. Someday. For now, I’ll keep making the wonderful recipes from her blog.

Happy eating, everyone!