One of my very best friends is coming to visit tomorrow from New York, and I’m so excited. Our major plans are to talk nonstop and eat good food, so: it’ll be perfect.

This week as I was preparing for her visit, I did all the things one does when a guest is coming: I cleaned my house: dusted, vacuumed, wiped. I took the time to put things back where they belong, neatly stored away. I took out the garbage and recycling that had been piling up. I’m kind of on a decluttering kick lately, so I did a hearty dose of that too.

I also bought fruit to fill my pretty fruit bowl. I got tonic water for us to make fancy sparkly drinks with, and wine for us to catch up over. I bought the good kind of ketchup chips (seriously: take them away from me), and the kimchi I hadn’t replaced since I finished the last jar.

I also made plans with people I loved for while she’s here: my sister (we all travelled in Thailand together!), Dylan (we lived in Korea together!), as well as some friends who she hasn’t met yet but who are close to my heart.

And I am so excited. I am so happy that I’ll get to spend time with her, and show her my neighbourhood, and my apartment, and my cat. I did all of the above because I want her to feel so, so welcome in my little world. I want her to have the best experience possible. I want her to feel at home.

But here’s the thing – the thing that feels almost blasphemous to admit – I also want those things for myself too. I want to feel welcome in my world. I want myself to have the best experience possible. I want to feel at home in my home. I want this for everyone I love (and even those I don’t), and I want it for me too.

When I came home today, my apartment felt so fresh and welcoming and cozy to me. I thought to myself, “I should do this more often!”

And now that I’ve noticed it, I think I will.

Today’s reflection is not particularly profound, but as an underbuyer, it’s something I need to remind myself of often, thus I will memorialize it here on the blog:

Buy the small Thing. Sometimes the small thing makes a huge difference.

Current favourite case in point: taking baths. I have a shallow bathtub, just like the one we had in the kids’ bathroom growing up. And when I lived abroad, I didn’t have any bathtub at all. (Just for fun, here’s my Korean apartment tour!)

All this is to say, I never really took baths. Last winter, when I was (probably complaining about the) cold and dealing with some anxiety, I started taking baths by candlelight with all my technology powered down and far away, and it helped a lot. The only problem was, the bathtub was still pretty shallow, meaning I wouldn’t be fully submerged and thus: cold. No bueno!

Then I found out about this blessed invention called an overflow drain cover! That was less than 12 bucks! Hallelujah!

Did I buy it? No, I did not.

I put off buying it for months and months, sure that I could do without it. I used a – wait for it – large ziploc bag, pressed up against the drain instead. Not a lie! I am really that ridiculous. (Answer: It actually works better than you might think, but not as well as the thing that was invented to specifically solve this problem.)

I thought to myself: Why do I need it? What if it doesn’t work? Can’t I just make do as-is? 

No, no I could not!

I have now taken several very full, very warm, very relaxing baths, meaning that this tiny piece of plastic has paid for itself already. I am kicking myself for putting off my happiness when I could have had months of such vastly superior baths. In fact, I’m about to go have a bath right now.

Is there something you’re not buying because it seems too small to matter? Or because it’ll let you do something that doesn’t seem urgent? Or because it’s something that will “only” help you with your personal self-care? I’m not advocating for mindless consumerism here, but if you know it’ll make a big difference in your life: Buy the thing! 

PS. If you have a recommendation for a small thing that makes your life better, spill the beans in the comments!! ???

PPS. I got this as a gift, but would recommend to anyone: a lighter with a long barrel. Less than $5, and never again will I burn myself trying to light candles.

This morning I woke up with a question in my mind:

Who do you admire, and why?

I’d never really asked myself this question in exactly this way before, but the answers started pouring in, almost faster than I could hear them. People I love (both those close to me, and those I admire from afar) popped into my head, one after another, in no particular order.

Elise, because of the way she weaves creativity into her everyday life, and because of the way she gets. it. done.

Sarah, because she thinks outside the box, follows her own North star, and makes time for what makes her happiest.

Oprah, because she is committed to having the conversations we didn’t even know we needed to hear, is willing to be ahead of her time, and always, always puts first things first.

Seth, because of his consistency and dedication to his craft, and because he’s carved out his own path in life by being intelligent and paying close attention.

Glennon, because she always tells the Truth.

My mom, because she walks the walk, values work-life balance, and goes outside every single day.

My dad, because he makes time to read every day, and because he will unfailingly sit down and explain something to you for hours if you need help or advice.

Lindsay, because she is confidently and 100% herself.

Bron, because she’s an amazing listener, is so thoughtful, and always takes the time to make the best snacks.

Katie, because she’s incredibly kind to herself, looks for the positive in every single situation, and is continually curious and fascinated about the world.

Laura, because she is so enthusiastic and passionate about the things she cares about, and is always up for a deep & juicy conversation.

Sonja, because she lives in a constant atmosphere of growth, always does what she knows to be true, and is generous with the people she loves.

Dylan, because he is kind and loyal, and totally unafraid to honour all the parts of himself that love & need different things at different times. “I am large; I contain multitudes.”

Erin, because she believes in herself, truly lives by her values, and is committed to bringing more beauty and awareness into the world.

Kim, because she has dedicated her life to helping others, takes self-care seriously, and is simultaneously both spiritual and practical.

Susan, because she practices what she preaches, is always fair, and remembers to tell you when you’ve done a great job.

Obviously this is just a smattering of people I respect and admire, there are many, many more. As I’ve said before (but is worth repeating daily): I feel lucky every day for the people I have in my life. I could go on and on about them.

What I love about this question is that not only is it an exercise in gratitude and thoughtfulness about these amazing humans, it’s also a beautiful way for me to reflect on my own values. It helps me see what is important to me: authenticity, generosity, kindness, creativity, awareness, enthusiasm, thoughtfulness, positivity, growth, humility, commitment to walking the path. 

These are the qualities that I want more of, both in myself and in the world. This is who I want to be. Who do you admire? Who do you want to be more like?