Last week I watched Falling Inn Love, which was possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The lines were unbelievably cheesy, the chemistry between the leads was non-existent, and it was full of every single bad romantic cliché in the book. I now know that it has a 60% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. No bueno.

And yet, Netflix pushed it on me for days. Every time I opened the site, the trailer for this movie would automatically begin playing. It suggested it for me everywhere. And despite my initial eye roll about the name, eventually I watched the trailer. Then, one boring night when I had nothing else going on, I thought “what the heck”, and watched it. Mistake!

If we don’t consciously make our own choices, we get chosen for, in the form of the default option, or the algorithm’s top pick, or what a computer thinks is the closest approximation to what we might want. The tricky thing is that increasingly often, the computer is getting it right: Spotify is doing a pretty great job of recommending music for us, Instagram knows what kinds of stuff we want to see on our Explore page.

The problem is, those algorithms are not always pure. They’re not always dutifully supplying us with what we like best. Very often, they’ve got an agenda: push this C-list movie on as many people as possible so that we make money. Recommend this YouTube channel more often because they include more ads in their videos. Show this Instagram account more widely all the time because they pay for boosted posts sometimes.

We’re living in what many are calling “the attention economy”, meaning that our attention is the most precious commodity on the market right now. Whoever can capture our attention can sell us something, and by golly, they want to sell us something! Which is why it’s not just fun and fancy free that our computers are getting to know us so well. It’s convenient at times, but it also means we’re more easily manipulated into doing things against our best interests, the most trivial example of which is watching Falling Inn Love despite hating it.

The point here is not to stop using computers forever, it’s to continue to be conscious about the choices you’re making. Ask your friends for recommendations. Ask the internet. Make some of your hobbies non-internet-related entirely. Read a book. Before you plop down in front of the TV, decide what you’re going to watch and why. Read reviews.

Yes, it’s more work, but not only will you have better experiences, you’ll also take back your power and stop being just another cog in the machine. As they say: If you don’t pay for the product, you are the product. Choose or be chosen for.

I’ve been reading and following Elise Cripe for years, and this idea is probably my favourite she’s taught me: you’re not going to run out of ideas. (She even has a notebook that says that now!)

If you “use up” this idea, you’ll find even more waiting in the wings. If you take action on this idea, it will spark even more ideas to take action on.

It reminds me of Gretchen Rubin’s personal commandment to “spend out”, which she defines as “To stop hoarding, to trust in abundance.” Instead of saving something for the mythical perfect time, she encourages herself to use it and enjoy it now, whether it’s a possession or a creative idea. She says, “pouring out ideas is better for creativity than doling them out by the teaspoon.”

Daily writing is only scary in theory, where all the fears are the loudest. “What if I’m a terrible writer? What if I run out of ideas?” In practice, it’s pretty simple: you sit down, and start writing about the first idea that comes into your head. As far as I can tell, this only requires a couple of things: discipline to make yourself sit down, perseverance to make yourself keep going despite your fears & doubts, and faith that you won’t run out of ideas. 

As of today, I have written 60 “daily” blog posts (up until this week, it was only Monday-Thursday writing). That’s 60 more ideas than I knew that I had. It’s 60 more ideas that I wouldn’t have been able to shape and make use of, had I not shared them. It might not seem like a high number, but that’s 60 more pieces of writing that I created that otherwise wouldn’t exist! And most importantly: it’s 60 battles that I successfully fought with resistance and won.

Life is long and rich and full of interesting experiences. There is absolutely no way that you are going to run out of inspiration, or questions, or things to say. You are not going to run out of ideas.

Yesterday night, I was in a bit of a funk. I had a stomach ache and my mood was low, and all I wanted to do was sit around and binge The Good Place (which I did, for most of the night).

At one point while I was cooking dinner, I was listening to a video from a new-to-me channel, Lavendaire. In it, she talked about making a list of all the activities you could do that would make you feel proud of yourself. Not the things that would make you feel happy, the ones that would make you feel proud. She goes on to say that the things that will make us feel proud of ourselves usually take quite a bit more effort and intention than things that will make us happy.

This feels similar to the distinction between self-care and self-indulgence. True self-care might take more effort, but it is ultimately more effective for our wellbeing and our confidence in the long run than giving ourselves every little thing we think we might want or “deserve”. 

It also reminded me of my Super Seven habits (now 8! I added flossing), an idea borrowed from Amy Young.  Most days, I don’t do all eight activities, but I’ve implemented a rule with myself that I can’t complain about my life or whine about my mood unless I’ve done at least 5/8 activities on my list. They are incredibly effective!

Self-care can sometimes feel so hard and overwhelming to me. I’m constantly questioning whether I’m “doing it right” and fretting about why I still have ups and downs in my mood. Even though on The Life Coach School podcast they talk all the time about life being 50/50 positive and negative emotion, no matter how successful you become, there’s still part of me that can’t internalize that idea.

But it feels easier to reach for the feeling of pride in myself. I know what that looks like. I know how that feels in my body. I know what I could do, by the end of today, to feel more proud of myself. It’s a subtle shift, but one that feels intrinsically more motivating to me to work towards. What would make me feel proud of myself today?

Feeling like you need the exact right equipment before you can start is a form of procrastination. Feeling like you need to be better before you can start is a form of procrastination. Feeling like you can’t start until you read this one perfect book that will change your life is a form of procrastination.

The only way to get better at something is to practice. The only way to practice is to start. You’ll probably have to start much smaller than you would like. It probably won’t be as good as you would like. It will take a long time, and a lot of practice, before your work feels like it’s “up to snuff”.

But unless you start, you won’t get better. As Ramit Sethi talks about in this episode: “I left up my first YouTube video to show you that that’s how it starts. I practiced a lot from then until now. The best way to get better is to start doing.”

As Ira Glass says: “It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.”

What little tiny way could you start right now. What could you do today? With the equipment you have, with the skills you have, with the knowledge you have? Chances are, you could do a lot more than you think.

This week I was thinking: maybe I should start a YouTube channel and create videos for my business! But what camera would I need? Do I need a mic? Where would I film? So I pushed it off into the uncertain future, to a time when I would miraculously have all the skills I need to get started.

And then I realized: I have a camera that records video. It’s not perfect, but it does it. And I have a mic. And I could probably set up a cute-ish background in my office. And I could probably start tomorrow. 

The time is now, y’all. Just start.