This idea came to me in my mastermind meeting yesterday while we were thinking about how to shift one’s mindset out of a place of scarcity.

When we live in scarcity, we feel like we need to be all things to all people. We feel desperate, like we can’t turn anything down. We think that if we miss out on any opportunity that comes our way, we won’t have another chance. It’s now or never. It’s this or nothing. It is reactive, not proactive.

Abundance, of course, is the opposite. We know we can’t be all things to all people and we are okay with niching down so that only certain people will “get it”. We feel relaxed and calm. We’re leading from our values, which means we can turn down anything that doesn’t feel like a fit. We know that if we skip an opportunity, there will always be more where that came from. It’s more like now, or then, or later, whatever. It’s this or something better. It’s responsive, not reactive.

And then we have scrappiness, one of my own core values and something I admire so highly in other people. Scrappiness sits squarely between scarcity and abundance. Sometimes it’s hard to feel a sense of abundance, especially if we’re triggered, things are scary, or we’re at our edge. Abundance feels like too much to reach for, when we have legitimate concerns about putting food on the table or paying our bills.

So instead, we can reach for scrappiness. We can build a bridge from scarcity to abundance by being scrappy and determined. We can take full responsibility for getting ourselves from point A to point B without compromising what we believe in.

Scrappiness says: “I’ll do whatever it takes to achieve my goals, but on my own terms.” It acknowledges that temporary solutions and “bridge jobs” are sometimes necessary, but it never loses sight of the ultimate goal. When we’re scrappy, we take on things we don’t love – not because we feel like we have to, but because we want to get closer to our goals.

Scrappiness is the “third way”. Instead of making our choices from a place of fear, it lets us make them from a place of love. It’s a subtle shift, but it makes all the difference in the world.

It’s Monday and I’m writing again! Funny how that works. The minute I’m back in my weekday routine, I’m straight back to my writing. Over the weekend? Not so much.

I know this is because my morning routine is not as strong (and occasionally non-existent) on the weekends. This is due in large part to the fact that I’ve been away a lot lately – this was one of my first weekends at home in over a month! But also, I think it’s because I want my weekends to feel less regimented. Weird things happen on weekends (read: getting up early for Hamilton tickets, etc) and I want to be able to adapt to them!

So I have decided that rather than fight it, or make myself feel badly, I’m just going to read the writing on the wall…or lack thereof, as the case may be. As I said in this podcast episode, our behaviour has so much to tell us about what we want and what we need, even if we’re not consciously aware of those desires. And my behaviour lately has said: no writing on weekends!

This behaviour has been consistent enough that I wouldn’t say it’s resistance. For me, resistance tends to have a whiny, emotional component. This change has just been a simple shrug: “nope!” Because it’s not so emotionally loaded, I don’t feel like I need to push myself on this. Writing 4-5 days a week is more than enough for me. It’s all an experiment, and I’m learning so much as I go!

I’m a couple weeks into using You Need a Budget regularly, and can safely say that it has changed my life. I have a completely new paradigm about money, and feel way more in control of my financial life. I also have this beautiful, newfound sense of freedom about my money in a way I never have before.

Historically, I’ve been a very reluctant spender, at best. I can easily talk myself out of purchasing almost anything, even if it’s something I actually need! It’s difficult for me to buy new socks, for heaven’s sake! Being an underbuyer is something that’s generally good for my bank account, but less good for my wellbeing. It’s no fun to feel guilty every single time I spend a dollar.

The system hasn’t changed my tendency entirely, but it has helped. The way YNAB works is that you “give every dollar a job” – you decide how much you want to spend on the various categories of your life, and then allocate funds to budget for each of those areas. You record & categorize your transactions, and so you can get a quick birds-eye glance at how you’re doing for spending in that category.

This means that if I’m feeling guilty about spending money or unsure if I should, I can “get permission” from my budget. If I want to go out, I can check how much I have left in my “Food & Drinks Out” category, and spend what’s left without fear. And if I overspend, I can always “move money” from another, less important category to cover it. I know all of this seems simple, but it’s been revolutionary for me, speaking as someone who always hated budgeting.

This reminds me a lot of Gretchen Rubin’s paradox: “Discipline brings freedom.” I used to think that having an “anti-budget” (covering for bills & savings, and then spending the rest however I wanted) was giving me the most financial freedom. But I spent my time feeling stressed and tentative. Now, I have an elaborate system that requires a habit of checking in, and I feel free. Go figure!