NaBloPoMo – Page 6 – Life In Limbo

Inspiration: November 10

November 10, 2017

Every week on Friday, I share a list of the most interesting and inspiring content I’ve read lately here on my blog. You can expect thoughts on productivity, happiness, balance, spirituality, politics, and more. Subscribe here to get updates. See archives here.

Friendly winter reminder: you are basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions. Reminds me of one of my self-care mantras: “You are not a robot.”

Damn, Seth is good. Are there places you feel like you’re falling behind where there’s actually no race?

Lindy West does it again with this perfect essay on how women are finally feeling brave enough to be angry. I have so many thoughts and feelings about this article, and this topic, and I’m so glad that this point is being made.

I was so inspired by this interview with Lewis Howes on Happier this week. His new book is about the masks men wear (and are taught to wear), and it feels like a very important conversation for us to be having, culturally. I love that he’s using his privilege and position to challenge the status quo.

Joy the Baker is my fave for so many reasons! Seeing her full house tour on Apartment Therapy this week was so delightful. #Goals.

More ways to ward of seasonal depression! These ideas are so sweet and simple and fun. I also read her book Simple Matters this week and really enjoyed it.

I love that Anthony Bourdain is asking himself the kind of question we should ALL be asking ourselves: “Why was I not the sort of person, or why was I not seen as the sort of person, that these women could feel comfortable confiding in? I see this as a personal failing.”

Great advice on how to make an amazing newsletter. Two of my favourites ever (Ann Friedman’s and Austin Kleon’s) are mentioned in here as examples.

We all need to revisit this long, long post about how to say no, decline, and protect your damn time. Lots of inspiration from artists and writers.

Angry about how Kevin Spacey tried to use his sexuality as an excuse for his criminal behaviour? Yeah. Me too. There’s a name for that, and it’s a very common schtick. Let’s learn about it so we can call it out in the future!

It’s been an amazing week and it’s only going to get better! This weekend, we have lots of fun plans with friends for brunch, touring historical sights around the city, and playing with my friends’ adorable new cats. I hope you have a wonderful weekend too. xo.

Recalibrating My Days

November 9, 2017

A couple weeks back, I wrote an Instagram post about remembering to go outside for a walk in the early evening, before the sun went down:

“Today I was working at my desk trying to rush and get stuff done before the weekend, but luckily took a pause and said to myself, if you don’t go outside now, it’ll be dark out and too late to go for a walk. So I went. And it was beautiful, and quiet, and there weren’t many people around, and the sky was gorgeous. And suddenly what I had been rushing to do didn’t seem so urgent.“

This idea has been with me for a long time – all the way back to when I had a “Don’t miss the moment” poster taped to my wall, and probably before that. I never want to look up and realize that I’ve missed all the sunshine, or get home from a party and have the yucky feeling like I wasn’t truly present for any of it, or that it’s only fun now that I’m reflecting on it after the fact.

This philosophy requires a lot of flexibility, creativity, and mindfulness, things that I am constantly working on developing for myself. I’m a person who likes routines, and can easily start to measure myself on how well I’m sticking to my (arbitrarily-established) routine on a daily basis. That night, rushing to get stuff done felt like the price I had to pay in order to enjoy my evening and relax, until I remembered that I am self-employed, I set my own schedule, and I can relax right now.

With this in mind, I’m making an effort to recalibrate my days to celebrate the change in seasons. Instead of getting all my work done before I go for my daily walk, I’m sticking my nature time right into the middle of my work day. This week, I’ve been going for a long leisurely walk right smack dab after lunch, soaking up the midday sunshine when it’s at its peak, instead of hoping to catch a few weak rays of it in the late afternoon.

Yesterday I went to the park near my house and laid down on a picnic table in the sun, cloud-watching and appreciating the light through the leaves on the giant trees. It felt “wrong” somehow to be doing this before I’d “earned it” (ugh @ myself sometimes, you know!?!), but it also felt so good. When I got back to my desk, I was able to be way more productive because I didn’t feel rushed, and I didn’t have to mourn the sun setting at 5:30PM before I’d had a chance to enjoy it properly. I’d enjoyed it already.

I know not everyone has the freedom to recalibrate their days to the extent that I do, but maybe you can walk on your lunch break. Maybe you can wake up earlier and sit quietly beside the window in the morning light. Maybe you can go outside for a five minute Vitamin D break.

As I try to embrace the change in seasons (so far, so good!), this tiny recalibration is making a big difference for me. How do you restructure your life as seasons change?

Do It For Yourself Too

November 8, 2017

One of my very best friends is coming to visit tomorrow from New York, and I’m so excited. Our major plans are to talk nonstop and eat good food, so: it’ll be perfect.

This week as I was preparing for her visit, I did all the things one does when a guest is coming: I cleaned my house: dusted, vacuumed, wiped. I took the time to put things back where they belong, neatly stored away. I took out the garbage and recycling that had been piling up. I’m kind of on a decluttering kick lately, so I did a hearty dose of that too.

I also bought fruit to fill my pretty fruit bowl. I got tonic water for us to make fancy sparkly drinks with, and wine for us to catch up over. I bought the good kind of ketchup chips (seriously: take them away from me), and the kimchi I hadn’t replaced since I finished the last jar.

I also made plans with people I loved for while she’s here: my sister (we all travelled in Thailand together!), Dylan (we lived in Korea together!), as well as some friends who she hasn’t met yet but who are close to my heart.

And I am so excited. I am so happy that I’ll get to spend time with her, and show her my neighbourhood, and my apartment, and my cat. I did all of the above because I want her to feel so, so welcome in my little world. I want her to have the best experience possible. I want her to feel at home.

But here’s the thing – the thing that feels almost blasphemous to admit – I also want those things for myself too. I want to feel welcome in my world. I want myself to have the best experience possible. I want to feel at home in my home. I want this for everyone I love (and even those I don’t), and I want it for me too.

When I came home today, my apartment felt so fresh and welcoming and cozy to me. I thought to myself, “I should do this more often!”

And now that I’ve noticed it, I think I will.

Buy the Small Thing

November 7, 2017

Today’s reflection is not particularly profound, but as an underbuyer, it’s something I need to remind myself of often, thus I will memorialize it here on the blog:

Buy the small Thing. Sometimes the small thing makes a huge difference.

Current favourite case in point: taking baths. I have a shallow bathtub, just like the one we had in the kids’ bathroom growing up. And when I lived abroad, I didn’t have any bathtub at all. (Just for fun, here’s my Korean apartment tour!)

All this is to say, I never really took baths. Last winter, when I was (probably complaining about the) cold and dealing with some anxiety, I started taking baths by candlelight with all my technology powered down and far away, and it helped a lot. The only problem was, the bathtub was still pretty shallow, meaning I wouldn’t be fully submerged and thus: cold. No bueno!

Then I found out about this blessed invention called an overflow drain cover! That was less than 12 bucks! Hallelujah!

Did I buy it? No, I did not.

I put off buying it for months and months, sure that I could do without it. I used a – wait for it – large ziploc bag, pressed up against the drain instead. Not a lie! I am really that ridiculous. (Answer: It actually works better than you might think, but not as well as the thing that was invented to specifically solve this problem.)

I thought to myself: Why do I need it? What if it doesn’t work? Can’t I just make do as-is?

No, no I could not!

I have now taken several very full, very warm, very relaxing baths, meaning that this tiny piece of plastic has paid for itself already. I am kicking myself for putting off my happiness when I could have had months of such vastly superior baths. In fact, I’m about to go have a bath right now.

Is there something you’re not buying because it seems too small to matter? Or because it’ll let you do something that doesn’t seem urgent? Or because it’s something that will “only” help you with your personal self-care? I’m not advocating for mindless consumerism here, but if you know it’ll make a big difference in your life: Buy the thing!

PS. If you have a recommendation for a small thing that makes your life better, spill the beans in the comments!! ???

PPS. I got this as a gift, but would recommend to anyone: a lighter with a long barrel. Less than $5, and never again will I burn myself trying to light candles.