Observations

Books are among my favourite things in the whole wide world. I love them! I cherish them. They have shaped me and my life in ways I could never begin to explain. Reading is my favourite pastime and a deep love of my life. I was once quoted in a national newspaper as saying, “One day I realized I was going to die before reading all the books I want to read.” Damn, girl.

I love Ramit Sethi’s book-buying rule: “If you’re thinking about buying a book, just buy it. Even one idea makes it worth it.” I have yet to adopt this habit, mostly because I’m on a saving money streak lately, but I love it in theory. I love what it represents.

So today, I’m coming up with my own book-related rule: when in doubt, books. This just popped into my head and I’m already thrilled. Here are some examples of how I hope to apply this rule (or am applying it already!):

• If a loved one is sick, bring them books that you’ve hand-selected for them based on their interests
• Anytime you have to get a gift, get a book of some kind
• If you’re feeling off and kind of existential, read a light, happy book
• If you’re not sure what to watch on Netflix, read a book
• While eating, read a book
• If you want to get out of the house, go to the library or a bookstore
• If you’re interested in a new topic, go get a book on it

Am I too crazy about books? I think not. I think I’m just the right amount of crazy about books. Especially since Marie Forleo’s new book just came out last week, and I get to pick it up from the library today. See? The right kind of crazy.

Do you have book-related rules? I would LOVE to hear them. Pop them in the comments below! Until then, I’ll be reading. Ciao!

The thing I almost always forget is that new habits eventually become automatic. I know this as a fact, intellectually, but when I’m in the midst of trying to form a new habit (floss, take my vitamins, write every day), that knowledge goes out the window. Instead, I usually get frustrated by my lack of progress and give up completely. It makes no sense, but then again, quitting feels easier than failing.

Initially you have all kinds of forces working against you: other habits that are competing for your time, resistance to doing anything that’s good for you, forgetfulness because the habit is not yet ingrained. When you’re forming a new habit, it takes conscious, intentional effort to make yourself go through the motions, and if humans hate anything it’s conscious, intentional effort. We like things to feel easy and automatic and painless. New habits are painful and slow and make us feel bad about ourselves when we can’t or forget to do them.

But if you keep showing up then slowly, surely, eventually, the new habit forms. It’s not necessarily easy, but somehow it’s easier. You’ve made room for the new habits among your old habits, without much fuss. There is less resistance, because you’ve shown up repeatedly and conquered it. You’re no longer forgetting, because the habit is just a normal part of your day. So suddenly, it feels: normal. Straightforward. Not a fight you’re fighting, but an emotionless item on your to-do list. 

I’m getting there with this daily writing habit. It no longer feels negotiable, like I could talk myself into or out of it. It just is a part of my day. Same with flossing – I still don’t adore it, but it’s no longer such a big deal, just something to check off my self-care list. And as for that self-care list, on the whole I am feeling so much more balanced about it. Some days I can’t make everything happen, but taken together I can see all the progress I’ve made.

So I’m just reminding myself today that all habits will eventually become boring, and that’s the point. If it still feels like a fight, just keep going. It will eventually fade into the background.

Last week I watched Falling Inn Love, which was possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The lines were unbelievably cheesy, the chemistry between the leads was non-existent, and it was full of every single bad romantic cliché in the book. I now know that it has a 60% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. No bueno.

And yet, Netflix pushed it on me for days. Every time I opened the site, the trailer for this movie would automatically begin playing. It suggested it for me everywhere. And despite my initial eye roll about the name, eventually I watched the trailer. Then, one boring night when I had nothing else going on, I thought “what the heck”, and watched it. Mistake!

If we don’t consciously make our own choices, we get chosen for, in the form of the default option, or the algorithm’s top pick, or what a computer thinks is the closest approximation to what we might want. The tricky thing is that increasingly often, the computer is getting it right: Spotify is doing a pretty great job of recommending music for us, Instagram knows what kinds of stuff we want to see on our Explore page.

The problem is, those algorithms are not always pure. They’re not always dutifully supplying us with what we like best. Very often, they’ve got an agenda: push this C-list movie on as many people as possible so that we make money. Recommend this YouTube channel more often because they include more ads in their videos. Show this Instagram account more widely all the time because they pay for boosted posts sometimes.

We’re living in what many are calling “the attention economy”, meaning that our attention is the most precious commodity on the market right now. Whoever can capture our attention can sell us something, and by golly, they want to sell us something! Which is why it’s not just fun and fancy free that our computers are getting to know us so well. It’s convenient at times, but it also means we’re more easily manipulated into doing things against our best interests, the most trivial example of which is watching Falling Inn Love despite hating it.

The point here is not to stop using computers forever, it’s to continue to be conscious about the choices you’re making. Ask your friends for recommendations. Ask the internet. Make some of your hobbies non-internet-related entirely. Read a book. Before you plop down in front of the TV, decide what you’re going to watch and why. Read reviews.

Yes, it’s more work, but not only will you have better experiences, you’ll also take back your power and stop being just another cog in the machine. As they say: If you don’t pay for the product, you are the product. Choose or be chosen for.

I’ve been reading and following Elise Cripe for years, and this idea is probably my favourite she’s taught me: you’re not going to run out of ideas. (She even has a notebook that says that now!)

If you “use up” this idea, you’ll find even more waiting in the wings. If you take action on this idea, it will spark even more ideas to take action on.

It reminds me of Gretchen Rubin’s personal commandment to “spend out”, which she defines as “To stop hoarding, to trust in abundance.” Instead of saving something for the mythical perfect time, she encourages herself to use it and enjoy it now, whether it’s a possession or a creative idea. She says, “pouring out ideas is better for creativity than doling them out by the teaspoon.”

Daily writing is only scary in theory, where all the fears are the loudest. “What if I’m a terrible writer? What if I run out of ideas?” In practice, it’s pretty simple: you sit down, and start writing about the first idea that comes into your head. As far as I can tell, this only requires a couple of things: discipline to make yourself sit down, perseverance to make yourself keep going despite your fears & doubts, and faith that you won’t run out of ideas. 

As of today, I have written 60 “daily” blog posts (up until this week, it was only Monday-Thursday writing). That’s 60 more ideas than I knew that I had. It’s 60 more ideas that I wouldn’t have been able to shape and make use of, had I not shared them. It might not seem like a high number, but that’s 60 more pieces of writing that I created that otherwise wouldn’t exist! And most importantly: it’s 60 battles that I successfully fought with resistance and won.

Life is long and rich and full of interesting experiences. There is absolutely no way that you are going to run out of inspiration, or questions, or things to say. You are not going to run out of ideas.