Life Lessons

Shifting Your Focus

Here’s something I’m sure you can all relate to: sometimes I freak out.

Sometimes I worry about myself: how I’m dressed, where I’m going in life, my grades, my comportment. I throw pity parties, on occasion, and whine about how hard my life is (read: not at all) to anyone who will listen. I get into “moods” and at times conduct myself in the manner so succintly outlined on the First World Problems Twitter page.

And while it might sound stupid or dramatic or ridiculous, I really have been struggling lately with living too much inside my own head, thinking too much about my own worries and fears.  I’m sure you can all agree that once you’re in a mood, the funk is dark and twisty and it can be fairly hard to bounce back. Developing coping techniques to deal with such moods is not an easy task, even for the most confident among us.

On the other hand, though: I have to remember to count my blessings. And I have so many of them to count. Which is why my favourite new coping technique is about shifting my focus to others.

Here’s the idea: start thinking about anyone but yourself.  Anyone. Put them at the center of your thought target and fire away! What resonates most with me personally is the idea of making someone’s day, and helping people in my life as much as possible. Maybe you’d prefer joining in with a protest that moves you, contributing to a charity you believe in, volunteering for a local organization that does great work, or sending letters to the people that you love. Maybe you just want to start collecting smiles, or hugs that you helped create.

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On Onion Rings and Rejection

Hola! Como estas? Muy bien!

I’ve just returned from Cancun paradise after a week of doing as little as humanly possible. It’s true that different people go on vacation for different reasons, and mine this time around was to rest, heal and be lazy. Mission accomplished! I’m at my family home now, getting things sorted – declaring my minor (sociology!), choosing courses, applying to Honours and doing my very first detox!  I’ll be outlining the program my mother and I have chosen for you once I’m through the worst of it. It’s fun, makes me feel good about myself, and helps me tick off another of those New Years Resolutions!

Today, though, I’d like to talk about two very important things:

  1. Onion Rings (of the healthy-ish, easy, home-made variety. See also: dangerous, delicious and wonderful.)

  2. Rejection (of the depressing, necessary and encouraging variety. See also: Tastespotting and self-doubt.)

#1. On Onion Rings

Here is a little ditty about onion rings:

I love onion rings,

Delicious, crispy and brown,

Yogurt is good for dipping,

You’ll never put them down.

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What a Weekend Away Taught Me About Becoming the Person I Want to Be

Since this is a bit of a wordy post, I’ve included my very first (!!) podcast to spice things up. Be sure to let me know if you like this format, and check it out below!

What a Weekend Away Taught Me About Becoming the Person I Want to Be

I’ve been putting off writing this post for a few weeks now – partially because of exams, and also because it’s no mean feat to bare your soul to the Internet. However, my blog’s mantra is “growing up + getting happy”, so I feel a kind of duty to share my humble life lessons here for others to potentially/hopefully/possibly benefit from.

It’s really not easy, this “growing up” thing. The further I venture down this path, the more I learn: about myself and about the world. It’s hard work to fully accept your faults or weaknesses, and is sometimes even harder to appreciate your strengths.

One of the struggles to face is that your “ideal” or dream self – the self you dreamed of being as a kid or teen, before your life “really” started – is now conflicted. It’s about that time in your life that you expected your ideal self to come into being, but it’s proving more difficult to become that person than you expected. Or, it is for me at least.

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Standing Up For Yourself

Photo thanks to wwarby

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn since “becoming an adult” [read: moving out without any idea of what I’m doing] is how to get up, stand up. For myself, that is.

This article is for you if you’re afraid of confrontation. Worried about rocking the boat. Unsure of how to approach someone with a complaint. Let me start by saying: I sure am. All of the above. Yes and yes and yes. I don’t like conflict, confrontation, or making a scene. Hence, I steer clear. I ignore. I bottle up. I seethe frustration when I’m alone or to anyone who will listen.

This weekend in particular was enlightening. Turns out, I did something to annoy my roommate. I was discourteous. It bugged her. So she confronted me. Dearie me, is it really so easy as that? All this time, could I have just shot off an angry text, had a conversation, problem solved? Who knows. But as we sat down to talk about it, all the things I’d never said came bubbling out, fueled by frustration. I quickly realized how absurd it was that I had been bottling these things up for so long, that I should have said something at the time.

Of course, coming to this realization and implementing confrontational behaviour in the future are two very different things. Although I’ve learned my lesson, that doesn’t mean that I’m an expert at applying it. All I can share with you today are the thoughts I’ve been having about how to make it easier for myself (and you!).

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