Sweet Darlin’

“It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside.”

-Elton John

Well Elton you said it. I am experiencing quite a strange feeling. It’s not quite fear, not quite excitement. I’m not outwardly anxious, happy or afraid. Internally I am experiencing mild anxiety or stress, but I’m not overcome with it. Maybe that’s because if I thought about it too much I would lose it completely. There are some indications, hints at my current insanity. For example, my absent mindedness. In the past week I have left the stove on all morning, left the oven on all night, ordered a homeburger instead of a natureburger, lost approximately seven things and counting, found one of them, and then lost the list of things I’d lost. Fortunately I found that.

People say this is from the underlying stress of experiencing a grand transition.

I certainly hope so.

Otherwise, I appear to the untrained eye to be okay. I was speaking with my dad yesterday and realized that the thing I’m having the most trouble with is the fact that I don’t really know very much about where I’m going and therefore do not have much control over my situation. And that’s hard for me. Because while I don’t need to control other people’s behaviour, it’s difficult for me to experience a change over which I hold no control. It was bothering me a lot that this situation was completely unknown to me: don’t know my room, where my classes are, don’t have the meal plan figured out, yadda yadda yadda. It’s not so much anxiety over making friends, etc, it’s knowing that I have no control over who I’ll meet. I have no idea what is going to happen, and that is the scariest part by far.

Also on my mind is this idea of shifting relationships. In a few short days I am going to be far away from my friends and family, in a different city, province and headspace. My greatest fear of all is that I’ll return a stranger to my family and lose contact with my friends.

Not to mention school itself! I have spent so much time worrying about everything else that I haven’t given much thought to the workload itself, the hours spent studying, the reading, the labs, the stress. I just have to remember to keep my head down and work hard I guess.

I have been getting so many great words of advice from the wise people around me: parents, friends, sisters, colleagues. I am leaving so soon that I am at the point of inevitability. It is happening in three days and there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it.

Which is fairly terrifying in its own right.

101 in 1001

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

ME:

This list is to give me some purpose, to make certain things habits: things I always think about implementing into my life and never get around to. I don’t intend to beat myself up over it if I don’t accomplish everything on here, no regrets, right? It will just be a guideline, a motivation for me to live my best life. I’ll make a point of tracking my progress on my blog as well as writing about it. I’m starting on the 22nd because that’s when I leave for school, and start my new life.

Start Date: Saturday, August 22, 2009.

End Date: Saturday, May 19, 2012.

The List

Body

01. Get a tattoo which is meaningful to me.

02. Donate blood at least once every six months.

03. Increase my shoe collection to ten pairs.

04. Drink 1L of water every day.

05. Lose 5-10 pounds and maintain that weight.

06. Exercise twice a week, even if it’s just a walk.

07. Moisturize! After every shower.

08. Stretch every weekday night before bed.

09. Get one massage a year. Do it!

10. Don’t drink pop except when at a restaurant (only Sprite..Coke sucks anus)

11. Get to bed every weekday night before 1AM at the latest (with exceptions for big assignments and only during school nights)

12. Drink responsibly & with water in between..no hangovers.

13. Get one manicure every six months. That means growing out your nails.

14. Take typing classes online to learn how to type more efficiently.

15. Go rock-climbing twice.

16. Take a yoga or step class.

17. Dance every single day.

18. Private.

19. Remain a vegetarian/organic meat eater.

20. Try one new restaurant a month.

21. Try to get a daily dose of hugs.

22. Take a ballroom dancing/salsa dancing class.

23. Cook for myself once a week.

24. Go horseback riding.

Mind

25. Write either a blog post or a one page journal entry every day.

26. Read one non-school related book every month.

27. Write one letter a week.

28. Buy small Sudoku/crossword book or app, and use as much as possible.

29. Learn how to do basic mental math by practicing often.

30. Reply to one veryserious / plinky / random prompt a week.

31. Be an active member of two clubs associated with my school.

32. Become involved in a research project.

33. Spend a semester abroad.

34. Learn to drive stick-shift.

35. Buy and read the Saturday paper every week.

36. Learn one really good card trick.

37. Read three biographies of amazing individuals: Einstein to start.

38. Learn to and play strip poker with good friends.

39. Go to one movie alone every two months.

40. Save 7$ a week into an account strictly for travel.

41. Learn two songs by heart on the piano & guitar.

42. Speak French every day.

43. Start writing a novel.

44. Start writing a play.

45. Join or start a book club.

46. Join the theatre group at my school.

47. Write down a memory a day.

48. Write one letter a year on futureme.

49. Keep an ongoing list/journal of things that made me smile.

50. Take cooking classes or art classes.

Soul

51. Volunteer every year.

52. Always get Free Hugs when people are giving them.

53. Fall in love.

54. Throw a surprise party.

55. Skinny dip once a year.

56. Schedule Skype dates with my loved ones.

57. Email special people at least once a month.

58. Work at a kissing booth once.

59. Love my body.

60. Sleep under the stars.

61. Pick up trash once a year.

62. Spend 10 minutes a day on freerice.com

63. Buy one lottery ticket every year for my mom.

64. Loan money on Kiva.

65. Keep a dream journal.

66. Have my palm read.

67. Go geocaching.

68. Do one thing a month that scares me and keep a log of them.

69. Go for a picnic at least once a year.

70. Make a smile my default expression.

71. Take a self defense class.

72. Go on a solo date once a month.

73. Learn to change a flat tire.

74. Watch one classic movie a month.

75. Always recycle.

76. Do a 7-day detox once a year.

77. Laugh every single day.

78. Host a Christmas party.

79. Don’t hold grudges.

80. Take care of a plant.

81. Go camping once a year.

82. Watch the sunset or sunrise once a year.

83. Try one new restaurant a month.

84. Spend time outside every day.

85. Go see a play once every couple months.

86. Spend a day taking pictures.

87. Attend a fashion show.

88. Take a photography class.

89. Have a tea party.

90. Have a breakfast party.

91. Go to a poetry reading.

92. Travel once a year.

93. Take a roadtrip.

94. Learn about religion and discover my own spirituality.

And…

95. Collect as much art, books and movies as my budget can afford.

96. Be the best friend possible.

97. Make a list of things I love about myself.

98. Always go with my gut.

99. Never forget my family and friends’ birthdays.

100. Blog about my success with this list.

101. Make another 101/1001 list.

Shawty What Cho Name Is

Well it’s Wednesday morning and I already have much on the agenda. In truth, I don’t have much to blog about so I’m just going to make a list of the books I plan to bring with me to University and why. Enjoy?

Also check out my Shelfari account for a (more) complete list of the books I’ve read or loved.

Hopefully that link works..very strange.

Okay so here we go. Books are extremely important to me, so it’s important that I bring at least some with me when I go away to school.

1. This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. No matter that I can already practically quote the entire book, so much so that I no longer really need to read it, it remains one of my favourite books.

2. The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan. What turned me into a vegetarian. I think it’ll be important to have around in University perhaps to re-read when my stamina is low?

3. This Is Your Brain On Music by Daniel Levitin. This guy is my psychology teacher! Not to mention the fact that I’ve wanted to read it for a while, but never did. Now that he’ll be my professor, I think it would be a good idea to read it. :)

4. Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O’Neill. Set in Montreal, award winning, recommended by a good friend, Miss Claudia Catalina, who has impeccable taste. Check her out here.

5. 1000 Places to Go Before You Die by Patricia Schultz. To help me plan my next vacation/semester abroad/grand gap year while stuck in a tiny, freezing cold dorm room. But this dorm room will be in Montreal, which is beautiful in itself. So that’s okay then.

6. Blink & The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. These books are incredible. They changed the way I see the world and I’m sure I will re-read them multiple times throughout my University career.

Now for a few I haven’t yet read, but own:

7. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.

8. Netherland by Joseph O’Neill.

9. The World Without Us by Mark Weisman.

10. Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss.

11. Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee.

12. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.

13. Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov.

14. No Logo by Naomi Klein.

15. Jailbird by Kurt Vonnegut.

16. Bloodletting and the Miraculous Cures by Vincent Lam.

17. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole.

And the book I’m currently reading:

A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz.

So there we are. That’s quite a few books. I may have to edit down this list, otherwise I’ll be running out of room in my room before I get there. :)

Plans for today include Ikea, Forever 21, possibly MEC and Big Al’s aquarium. Yay!

xoxo, S.

Here’s Hoping

Today was rather melancholy. It consisted mainly of solitude: sad, weepy solitude, and pensiveness. Like Dumbledore. Oh, forget it.

I spent the day not doing a lot: woke up late, watched some Rich Bride Poor Bride. Cool fact! The episode I watched was of a wedding held at the same venue as my cousins’ wedding! I was there people! I had no idea it was a Canadian show but maybe that entire channel is Canadian and I am just oblivious. I emptied the dishwasher and vacuumed the front hall (Jasper is shedding like mad) and sprayed that poor puppy’s hotspots with some menthol spray that I actually don’t mind the smell of. Updated my iPod and set up my hard drive, whose name is Lacie.

Then I commenced what is possibly one of the saddest things I have ever done. I started cleaning and unpacking my desk/plastic sets of drawers, which of course were full of letters and notes and memories. There was music playing in the background and every song had a meaning for me, every song had a memory. I was getting overwhelmed at the thought of leaving my bedroom, my home, my family to start a brand new life, bringing only certain items with me. I started of course also getting hysterical, wondering about my future, what to bring, what to leave behind, what to throw out, did I do high school right, am I a bad friend, will I make the right sort of friends next year?????? All that funky jazz. It was exhausting to say the least, and I was in and out of periods of weepiness.

I spoke with my best friend Omar a couple times throughout the day, and he was feeling much the same way, not wanting to uproot himself once again after already making two big moves in his life: once from India and another time from Cairo. We were both upset.

I set up a new printer today that my mom got me; it also prints pictures (not well) and functions as a scanner, yippee! It’s white and cute. I am still trying to think of its name, so let me know if you have any ideas. We had dinner, chicken a la king but instead of chicken it was tilapia a la king. It was absolutely delicious.

After dinner, me and my mother had a breakdown together, she more than I this time. She’s really upset that I’m leaving.

I went to pick up Omar, and we came back to my house and (among other things) checked out apps for his phone, drank, and watched Planet Earth with my mom and sister.

All in all, it was a day. I gathered many necessary items together and put them in our spare room, so it gives me some sort of feeling of accomplishment. Which is actually nice, because I am constantly feeling like I’m forgetting something important. Here’s a little pic of my collection thus far: (!!!)

Photo 76

Anyways. I had a mostly good day. Here’s hoping that tomorow will be less stressful, and I’ll be gtd. Once again, I must continue working on my 101/1001 list, because I need it to be ready for when I leave. G’day folks!

xoxo S.