This Spring, I decided to get back into running. In high school and elementary school I did a lot of cross-country running, and even though I fiercely disliked race day I remember that I occasionally enjoyed running – or, at least, I enjoyed knowing I could run X number of kilometers. For the last few years, I’ve run maybe a handful of times, never really enjoying it, never really improving. In my first year of university I struggled with feeling insecure about running (seems funny now, but it was so real then) – I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, especially if I wasn’t very good or if I was slow. I went for maybe 2 runs that year. My second year wasn’t much better, since I never liked it and couldn’t come up with a good system to motivate me.
This year, it’s somehow different. I can’t say why exactly. Maybe it has something to do with coming out of a longterm relationship with a new perspective, and a new sense of individuality and autonomy – I’m focusing on myself more than ever. I am learning how to give myself permission to suck really badly or go really slowly. I’m trying my best to pay attention to my progress instead of worrying about how fast other runners are going or if civilians are watching me stumble along. Usually I just pretend they’re watching me run because they’re annoyed at themselves for not running lately! I’ve been reaching out to my running friends and getting advice and tips (thanks Patty + Kyle!) and slowly easing myself back into the running life.
I have to say, a lot of things are coming back to me and it is so much fun to watch myself slowly improve. I wanted to share a few things I’ve been doing to motivate myself to keep running.