One Second Everyday: 2020

January 12, 2021
by Stephanie Pellett
1 min read
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Another year, another one second everyday video!

This was a WEIRD year. What’s even weirder is noticing that my One Second Everyday video looks..surprisingly normal? It’s miraculous to me that I can look back on these memories and see such little evidence of the global pandemic we all lived through. I guess that’s the beauty and the downfall of capturing just the best parts of every day – you don’t catch as much of the heartbreak & pain. Either way, I’m grateful that in 2020 I had this collection of beautiful moments, and many more.

This is the app I use to create these videos! If you’re curious you can watch my previous videos here: 2016, 2017 and 2019.

2020 In Reading

January 11, 2021
by Stephanie Pellett
8 min read
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2020 In Reading >> Life In Limbo

2020 was not my best year for reading. When the lockdowns first hit in March here in Toronto, I found myself dealing with so much uncertainty as a self-employed person. I was pretty stressed and not sleeping well, and another side effect was that I couldn’t really focus on anything besides the necessities: my business and my mental health. Reading, as much as I love it, fell by the wayside.

So for big chunks of the year I wasn’t reading much, or at least not anything remotely challenging. I read a lot of romance novels. And don’t get me wrong, I love a good romance novel! I just normally like to diversify my reading life a little bit more than I ended up being able to this year. Challenging materials were harder to get into until the initial few months of the pandemic had passed, and by then I was very behind on my reading goal.

All in all, I still read a lot of books this year! I’m not actually disappointed in my reading this year by any means. It was just very different, as so much of 2020 was. Slower, harder, more fractured, more sporadic. Which is kind of a metaphor for the year in general, don’t you think? 😂

My Goal

When I started 2020 I set a goal to read 111 books. It sounds like a lot, but at the pace I had been reading, it was right on track with how much I’d read the year before. I didn’t think it would be too hard to meet my goal, while still reading a wide variety of subjects and authors.

I was wrong, lol. As I mentioned above, I quickly fell behind on my reading goal when the pandemic hit, and I’m still having trouble getting back to the pace that I love and that makes me feel good. A lot of my evening reading time shifted to become time for learning and studying, anti-racism and business skills, primarily. 

As I approached the end of the year, I decided to make my goal more realistic for where I was at. I changed it to 70 books, which is actually less than I’ve read in the past seven years. Still, 70 books is absolutely nothing to scoff at and I’m proud that I was able to prioritize this beloved habit of mine despite all the madness swirling around me.

What I Learned

1. pull, don’t push

I’ve been saying this for years, but 2020 was the year when it really hit home. If I really want to read more, I need to make sure I have really good things to read. When I’m reading a great book that I can’t put down, I read more! I make time for it, no matter what else I might be doing. If you’re trying to read more books this year, make sure you’re choosing ones that pull you in, not ones you have to push yourself to read. 

2. Read fiction at night

Reading non-fiction often feels like work, no matter how important or meaningful the topic might be. I always find myself wanting to take notes or pay rapt attention to soak up the wisdom, and I don’t always have the energy for that at bedtime! So I’ve moved to reading great stories before I go to bed, as they’re often more compelling and don’t put me to sleep instantly. I save the non-fiction for daytime reading, even sometimes building it into my work day if I have a quieter day of work.

3. books are better shared

2020 was a tough year, and I found myself more than ever feeling grateful for the bookish conversations I was able to share with my loved ones. I’m part of a great book club, and our discussions of the books we read always help me process more of my own thoughts and get more out of each reading experience. I also love talking about books with my partner more informally, sharing our thoughts is always so fun and meaningful. And of course, nothing is better than recommending a great book to a close friend, my sisters, or my mom (who has been reading up a storm this year!) and then getting to connect about what we’ve both read. I love it and want to remember to do more of it.

My Favourites

2020 Books >> Life In Limbo

1. Know My Name by Chanel Miller: A truly heartbreaking but beautifully written account of one woman’s experience of rape, the fallout, the justice system, and her life afterwards. Chanel is an incredible writer and this whole book felt so important and poignant for me.

2. Burnout by Amelia & Emily Nagoski: I love the Nagoski sisters (did you know Emily also writes super hot romance?!) and this joint effort about stress is an important read for anyone feeling chronically stressed and tired. The concept of completing the stress cycle is simple but crucial. This podcast interview is a great summary if you want to learn more before reading!

3. Untamed by Glennon Doyle: I took so many notes while reading this book, it just felt so refreshing and empowering. The central message is that we all need to learn to disappoint every single person around us before we disappoint ourselves. How powerful is that? So many great stories and teaching concepts inside, I think it’s a must-read.

4. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: I loved this fun, sexy book about love between the First Son of the USA and the Prince of England. Such a delightful read! It reminded me a lot of The Royal We.

5. Severance by Ling Ma: I read this book (about a deadly pandemic that sweeps the globe) pretty early on in the pandemic, and yet it was surprisingly less depressing than I thought it might be. I actually enjoyed reading about a similar situation to what we were going through, and the stresses therein, while enjoying a story that was different enough to not heap on the fear. Very compelling. It reminded me of Station Eleven!

6. Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller: This book just casually changed my life. I learned a lot about attachment theory in school, but only about how it impacts kids. Reading about how the theory persists into our adult romantic relationships and close friendships was fascinating and provided me so much clarity and insight as I entered into a serious relationship. I’m anxiously attached, and let’s just say: it shows sometimes. Super helpful if you find yourself dealing with the same relationship issues in every relationship you’re in.

7. Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert: Another POSITIVELY DELIGHTFUL romance with a Black, chronically ill protagonist – identities that aren’t typically represented in romance. I actually listened to this one on audio and adored the accents and voices. Very sexy too, I am now a huge fan of Hibbert’s writing.

8. The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd: This was my favourite book of 2020, and the one I have recommended most often since reading it. It’s a powerful, emotional, vibrant story about the (fictional, but possible) wife of Jesus of Nazareth. She is given a personality that resonated so deeply with elements of my own, a backstory, a passion, a vocation..it is beautiful and an incredible piece of writing. I loved it with all my heart. This interview with Sue Monk Kidd about it was also very good.

9. The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline: I still think about this novel more often than I expected to. It’s a (slightly) futuristic story about settlers harvesting the bone marrow of Indigenous people in order to dream, and the Indigenous fight to survive under the intense colonial violence they’re subjected to. It is not all that far removed from our current reality, not to mention the history of violence this country has already inflicted upon Indigenous people. It’s a powerful book: adventurous, exciting, heartbreaking, heart-lifting. I loved it.

Gosh, I love to read. Reflecting on my year in reading is always such a joy. I love looking back and seeing what stood out to me out of everything I read, what persists in my mind and in my heart. Reading is an axe for the frozen sea within us, as Kafka said, and all of the books on this list have made me a better person in what has been a particularly challenging year. I am so grateful for this habit and for the stories that change me.

You can see everything I read this year right here, and as always you can follow along with what I’m reading over on Goodreads here! Happy reading, everyone.

PS. For even more bookish blog content, click here.

2020 In Review

January 7, 2021
by Stephanie Pellett
15 min read
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2020 In Review >> Life In Limbo

Well. We did that, somehow. We lived through 2020, the (hopefully!?) hardest year of our collective lives.

The pandemic hit different people differently, and everyone has a different personal code of ethics and risk tolerance. But for me, the lockdowns here in Canada meant that I saw very few places outside of my apartment and immediate neighbourhood this year. I interacted with very few people besides my boyfriend, outdoor time with a couple friends who live within walking distance, and occasionally, with precautions taken, my immediate family. And even those visits were few and far between!

I live alone, and I don’t have a car or any animals, so it’s been a bit of a hard year. There has still been joy and I still have so much to be grateful for, but I’ll admit that it’s been painful and lonely too. I’ve had very little energy for anything outside of work, which I really had to focus on in order to actually make money and support myself during such an uncertain year! So a lot fell by the wayside. Some of my friendships have weakened. I had less time for my favourite hobbies, like reading and writing this blog. My self-care and sleep schedule were intermittent at best. (Caveat: I know I’ve had it so easy compared to so many others.)

And yet we made it through! A few days into January and while nothing really feels any different than it did all of last year (same apartment, same schedule, same same same), I feel somewhat hopeful about what this year might hold. Maybe I can take a trip. Maybe I can hug my friends again. Maybe I can host another in-person retreat. We will see. All of us will see.

Until then, I still wanted to take some time to reflect 2020. As weird as it was, there was so much beauty too, and I want to remember those parts. So here we go! 2020 in review, such as it was.

January

The year started off on such a positive note! I was coaching a lot, making new connections, and prepping to host my first-ever business retreat the following month. I remember life feeling full and vibrant and fun. I started doing food prep and was really excited about that new development! I was taking great care of myself, having coworking dates in beautiful spaces, going to fun concerts, and generally having a very good time. But the most exciting thing that happened in January was meeting my now-partner Mike, who has been my steady, hilarious, generous, cuddly person throughout this wild, ridiculous year.

February

Another juggernaut of a month! I hosted my retreat and it was an absolute delight. I have thought of it often in the months since: how cozy we all were snuggled together in that farmhouse, how delicious the food was, how connected we felt. It’s almost haunting to know how much life changed right after that experience. In February I also gave a workshop to a big corporate client alongside The Birds Papaya, which was a fairly surprising (and cool) development. I also got a really great haircut…and haven’t had one since 😂

March

As you know, the world (as we knew it) ended. The day I was meant to take a beautiful snowy weekend getaway with four close friends, I got a cold. I personally put myself into lockdown, and my province quickly followed suit a couple of days later. I remember almost nothing from March, but a look at my calendar shows that I was still busy. I had a lot of coaching calls previously scheduled, and somehow, I still managed to show up for them fully. But I lost a major client and a major project pretty much as soon as COVID hit. I worried about money. I did not bake bread. I did not do puzzles. I DID get on TikTok and try to cheer myself up by learning a bunch of dances. I did go for a lot of walks, and read Untamed, which I adored. But mostly, I laid on my floor and cried, then got up and tried to serve my (also panicking!) clients.

April

 

I was supposed to go to see my favourite musical Hamilton on my birthday this year!!! Did not happen. But, I’m lucky enough that instead, my friends Sonja and Stirling came to my house with their guitars and sang to me, 6 feet apart, and my mom stopped by and waved at me from across the parking lot. Also that month, we moved NurtureNurture (our beloved twice-annual life retreat!) online and it was as powerful and fun as ever, despite the distance. I did eventually bake a banana bread, but I had a lot of trouble sleeping and didn’t touch a book for basically the entire month. I have no idea WHAT I was doing with my time, besides surviving. My camera roll shows only photos of walks, stress cleaning, and a lot of photos of me in my romper.

May

I decided to launch “Productivity Parties”, collective work sprints that could bring people together to get their work done in a supportive community. Those were so fun, and a real hit – people were really craving that togetherness, myself included. In May I also visited my mom’s property for some socially distanced quality time on the trails and it was so good for my soul. I walked around the city bloom-spotting and the flowers brought me so much joy. Sonja and I started having regular weekly outdoor dates, and thank goodness. And I got an unexpected job offer which felt exciting and cool, though I ultimately declined it for many reasons. Life got warmer, and life got better.

June

The job offer started to go sour, and I made the executive decision to decline it and continue to do my own thing instead. I decided to re-launch my group coaching program to see what would happen, and enrolled two amazing groups that I adored working with for the rest of 2020. I gave a great online workshop about productivity. I planned a fun COVID-safe adventure day complete with strawberry picking, hiking, and a drive-in double feature (SO fun). I also got a big wake-up call about my complacency and inaction around anti-racism after the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent protests, and started trying to be more vocal and active in the fight for an anti-racist world.

July

As mentioned, I started running two new simultaneous cohorts of my group program, which was such a joy, a delight, and a relief from a business perspective. I also started running my monthly Transparency Tuesday updates, to share my action steps to become a more anti-racist business and person. I tried to take advantage of the beautiful weather by hiking to waterfalls, camping out at my mom’s backyard, reading on the grass at the park, and walking down by the lake. I even ventured to a few patios for a couple of dinners! I love July and though it was different than usual, I still loved soaking up the sunshine and seeing my friends at a safe distance.

August

This was a fun month too! Beautiful weather and much better vibes. I dogsat at a friend’s house which was a very welcome change of scenery after several months stuck in my own apartment. I surprised Mike for his birthday with a park gathering with several of his friends, then took him to an indoor obstacle course which was so much fun (albeit less fun with masks on, lol!). I took a Mental Health Crisis Response course online, went to a few apartment open houses (nothing panned out), and even tried out text banking for the American election. Meanwhile, I was hard at work building out the infrastructure for my online business community!

September

Said business community, The Profoundery, launched! I had actually been working on it, on and off, for most of the year, so it was so rewarding to actually see it come to fruition. And the members who joined (and who have continued to join!) are so incredibly inspiring and thoughtful. The other super fun thing that happened this month was that Mike & I took a camping trip! Such a delight to spend a couple days away from it all, cooking over a fire, taking photos, and exploring. Also in September I carefully visited my grandparents for the first time since Christmas, celebrated a friend’s birthday on blankets at the park, took some excellent workshops through SURJ, and finally got back to reading a little bit more. See also: tried to soak up every moment of the good weather before it got cold again.

October

It got cold again. Sonja and I tried to drag our weekly outdoor hangs out until it was too cold to sit outside anymore, so we switched to walks. October was the month that I really started to feel panicky again about the impending winter. I wanted to move, I wanted a dog, I wanted the pandemic to be OVER, I wanted a break. Nothing really changed, but I definitely felt agitated about it. On the positive side, I started running monthly calls in The Profoundery and it was SO much fun, I was immediately so glad I had created it, and still am. The only other good thing that happened in October was the second NurtureNurture of the year, which again was so fun and delightful. A serious bright spot in an otherwise challenging month.

November

More of the same: work, walk, sleep, repeat. It was hard to stay motivated and hard to stay positive when life just felt cold and dreary almost all the time. There were some dark days in November, for sure. The positive things: I finished the Duolingo Romanian course I’d started in March, I “went to see” a virtual Donovan Woods concert online, and my best friend got engaged! I also launched my first online retreat, which is happening in a week as I write this. I also visited my mom for her birthday, which was a delight.

December

Which brings us to December. We had some pretty snowfalls, which I appreciated more than in previous years because they were at least something visually interesting and a bit different than the grey sameness that Toronto was otherwise bringing! I got my first (tiny) Christmas tree to have at home, and decorated it with my favourite ornaments from years past. I tried to lean into the festivities by making snowflakes, buying Christmas candles, and knitting a festive tree skirt. Mike and I had a dress-up date night at home, just for fun. And I took a full two weeks off for a break, which was wonderful, even if I didn’t get to see as many of my loved ones as I would have liked. It was a cold break thanks to all the standing outside we did, but I was so grateful that we could make those memories. It was special, in its own way.

Firsts of 2020

  • First global pandemic (and ideally also my last)
  • First time running a business retreat
  • First time not hugging my mom on my birthday
  • First time singing Christmas carols to my grandma on her balcony
  • First time camping with Mike
  • First time cooking over a fire for the weekend without a stove
  • First time launching an online business community!
  • First time doing my coaching program fully online
  • First virtual bachelorette party (would not necessarily recommend)
  • First time doing night sky photography
  • First time wearing a mask to the grocery store (and everywhere else)
  • First time making homemade margaritas
  • First time eating outside in the rain under a haphazardly constructed tarp tent to stay socially distanced
  • First time getting TikTok and posting dance videos on the internet
  • First time giving a workshop to a large private corporation
  • First time having a virtual movie night date
  • First time having a virtual retreat
  • First time attending a virtual concert
  • First time learning how to speak Romanian
  • First time trying dance-based workouts
  • First time trying Weber’s burgers
  • First time having white shoes

2020 By The Numbers

  • 70 books read
  • 45 blog posts written
  • 44 Instagram posts
  • 5.25 hours of meditation (or 43 sessions)

GOALS & INTENTIONS

You can see my full post of goals & intentions for 2020 right here! Here are my updates.

WELLNESS

  • Don’t drink alone: HAHAHAHAHA. Let’s put it this way: I literally forgot this was a resolution of mine
  • Walk for 20 for 2020 outside: I did pretty well with this! I don’t have an official count of days, but I did this more often than not.
  • Set up my Alexa morning & evening routines: I did set them up! Then eventually I turned them off and never turned them on again.

HOME & COMMUNITY

  • Explore one new star per week: Again, this is hilarious considering that we could not explore ANY new shops or restaurants for large swaths of this year. So no, this did not happen.
  • Do an Energy Exchange at Yoga Village: This also did not happen! They actually never answered my email.
  • Capture 1SE: This I did do, and I am so grateful that I did! I will be sharing the video very soon.

REST & RELAXATION

  • Read 111 books this year: I did not read this many books, since the pandemic destroyed my ability to concentrate for a few months there. I did however read 70 books! Which is wonderful.
  • Create a shut-down ritual for work: Did not do, did not even attempt.
  • Take a vacation: I think that my camping trip counts as a vacation! It wasn’t what I had perhaps envisioned when I wrote this, but it was restful and fun all the same.

SELF-CARE

  • Try acupuncture: Indeed yes! I snuck this one in right before the pandemic happened. I liked it, and would probably go again after COVID life is over.
  • Get quarterly massages: This (perhaps obviously) did not happen.
  • Find a great therapist: This could have happened! But didn’t. I really lost sight of my goals for much of this year and this was among the ones that got totally forgotten. I hope to do it in 2021.

WHIMSY

  • Celebrate minor holidays: Not really.
  • Do monthly surprise dates: This started off strong! And quickly deteriorated as the year went on and we had fewer places to go.
  • Buy something that sparks joy each month: This, I actually stuck to! I purchased some very joy-sparking things throughout the year. Here are some highlights: my Always pan, my Airpods, my Smash + Tess romper.

My Word of The Year: Devoted

Funnily enough, this was actually the perfect year to have the word Devoted. This year was hard, and it required a lot of devotion: to my health, to my relationship, to my clients, to my business. I was very grateful to have such an intentional and forceful word guiding me through the year, to remind me to SHOW UP and CONTINUE SHOWING UP, no matter what might be thrown my way.

As I said in last year’s post, there was a fierceness to this word that I was craving, and which I definitely needed to embody. Starting a relationship during a global pandemic, when all of your raw emotions are exposed and on display all the time? Not easy. Very triggering. Requires devotion. Taking care of your body and mind, eating well and exercising and getting outside while you’re in lockdown? Requires devotion. Trying to keep your business going and actually being able to support your clients despite the turbulent conditions? Requires devotion. It all required a lot of me, and while some things certainly fell by the wayside as a result, overall I’m so glad I had this word guiding me through.

And bonus! I also bought a beautiful ring engraved with the word devotion which was the perfect talisman to remind me of my intention. Yes.

Whew!! What a year this was. Reflecting on it in this way is actually quite rewarding, because it forces me to see how much goodness I got to experience this year. I was lucky: my business stayed afloat, I found love, I played with dogs, I spent time in beautiful parts of nature, I helped my clients. I have so much to be grateful for, even if this year was nothing that I could have expected or would have chosen. I tried my best, and my best was good enough to get me through, and for that I am so grateful. I know others were not as lucky as me, and my heart goes out to them.

So as we end this historic year, I am sending you love and positivity and hope. Hope for the vaccines. Hope for the future. Hope for our loved ones and our families and our health. Hope that we can get through these next few months and come out into a bit more light on the other side of this very dark tunnel.

All my love,

Steph

PS. If you’re curious, you can see more of my year-end reviews here:

2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011

Inspiration: August 7

August 7, 2020
by Stephanie Pellett
2 min read
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Every week on Friday, I share a list of the most interesting and inspiring content I’ve read lately here on my blog. You can expect thoughts on productivity, happiness, balance, spirituality, politics, and more. Subscribe here to get updates. See archives here.

Inspiration: August 7 >> Life In Limbo

Such a great little initiative for Toronto during COVID-19: is the park busy? No clue yet whether it’s accurate or not, but it’s helpful to have!

I haven’t yet had a chance to listen, but I’m so excited about this new podcast from Serial and The New York Times: Nice White Parents.

Really relatable watching for those of us who may or may not be a little *too* into personal development and self-help sometimes!

I read Such a Fun Age this week and loved it! So cringey, so well-observed, so smart. Its observations on race were fascinating, but I also loved (and related to!) the feeling of being the person working for someone who wants more from you than just the work itself.

Since we’re all staycationing these days, I loved this list of day trips around Toronto! There is honestly so much to do so close to home.

If you’re into Human Design, I’ve been finding this podcast interesting lately.

This week on my business blog I’m sharing a flow chart I use to help me evaluate my ideas! I’m also sharing a sneak peek of my new business community membership! 😍

Happy Friday! I hope you’ve had a wonderful week. Mine was nice – I was housesitting and dogsitting for friends and it was great to have a few days in a different environment, with a dog buddy nearby while I worked! This weekend I don’t have any big plans beyond helping out with some Etsy markets, reading this book, and hopefully finishing this puzzle.

An announcement that I’m going to take the month of August off from sending out this newsletter! It’s good to take a break. I’ll be back with more inspiration in September!